Friday, January 28, 2011

One of Those Mornings

I don't even have to explain, you already know what I'm talking about when I say, "One of those mornings." This one occurred because of a meeting.

Generally I try to avoid meetings.... I never have anything I can add because I'm not directly involved in the projects they're covering and I don't really need any of the information being exchanged in it. I think my boss has caught on to my general distaste for them because he stopped asking me to go to them on a regular basis. Or maybe it's because of days like Wednesday.

I will be the first to admit that I've let myself go a little at work. I used to wear nothing but stilettos and dress shirts with matching accessories. Now I shlump in wearing brown uggs under my black dress pants and I have a hoodie on every day. I'm going to say that a huge reason why I look dumpier is because I freeze my fucking ass off at work (unable to maintain body heat + sitting under vent + near window = frozen Cake). I'm old enough now and get seen seldom enough since I no longer do customer service that I'd rather just be warm and comfortable and get more sleep than get up and do my hair every day. Most days this doesn't matter because I see the same five people every day.

Wednesday I got a text at 9:50am from my direct boss, asking me to "bring a sign in sheet to our 10:00 meeting." Now, the meeting was on my calendar, but he never asks me to go to his meetings anymore, so I didn't know I was supposed to be there. And I looked like shit. Really. But, it should be fine, probably just the normal crowd.

WRONG. Not only do I get in there 10 minutes late, there are about 20 people in there including my boss, the head of our department, and the head administrator for the city.

There are engineers from other companies there, discussing our biggest project. The head of our department had told my boss before that I needed to dress a little more appropriately (because at one point I was wearing a hoodie that was five sizes too big and supplementing that with a pink fleece Scottie dog blankie), so me looking bad has been an issue before. And I roll in looking like I'd just crawled out of a burlap sack of fighting cats... in front of the three people who are most critical to me keeping my job. Guess where the only empty seat at the entire table is?
It was terrible. I was so embarrassed. My hair was a grease bomb, I had on a maroon hoodie that probably wasn't really work appropriate and I was covered in dog hair because I had to take Kaiser in for his eye surgery that morning.

I told myself I was going home after school that evening and doing my nails, my hair, changing my makeup, ironing some dress clothes, and *gasp* shaving my legs. I was going to clean up and never embarrass my boss again.

I'm sure you can guess what happened. And just in case you can't.... I took a picture in all of my full, no makeup, unadulterated morning glory. Happy Friday!


  1. Up until about 1 minute ago I couldn't have told you when the last time I did a spit take was... but the moment I saw your illustration of how you looked today the hot tea I was sipping narrowly missed the person sitting at the next table. I apologized profusely, and then in lieu of trying to explain myself I just turned my laptop so he could see what I had been reading... and he choked on his muffin. We then decided that your blog should come with an "eating or drinking while reading this blog is a potential choking hazard" warning label.

  2. Hahahaha! Omg Goofy the mental image of this happening had me in tears. That's hilarious. I'm glad no one was seriously harmed or soaked by spit tea in the reading of this blog :-D

  3. Oh man! that's a classic. I'm sure your mug shot (if you have one ((of course you don't)) would probably look a lot like this photo.

    I've been on both sides of this story. Usually on the underdressed side. Great post...

  4. Haha thankfully I do not have a mug shot but I'm sure I would look like this and I'd probably be drunk.

  5. Lol! That is awesome! I don't even know how I found this blog, but I'm so glad I stumbled across it.

    p.s. I am a flight attendant and they take our appearance very seriously. During training, we had a make-up class. I kid you not. I looked like a clown.

  6. Haha I'm glad you're here too! And that is HILARIOUS!! Do you have to wear certain colors or wear it a certain way or something? I think I'd feel a little ridiculous.

  7. You crack me up. In particular, the MS Paint illustration of yourself at the meeting - omfg, so funny.

    I work at a corporate job I HAAAAaaaaaatttteeee and the trajectory of my attire was like that - dressed to the nines followed by a downward spiral into only marginally acceptable flat shoes and clean hair (when they're lucky.)

  8. Thanks Amanda, although it's supposed to be a little exaggerated-funny, I'm pretty sure I didn't look that far off.

    And that's pretty much where I'm at too :-) Ratty flats and clean hair maaaaaaaayybe two times a week. Lol


Talk to the Cake Betch - I'll always respond. Unless you're a dick, then I'll just be mad.