Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Worst Question Ever

You know how when you meet someone or are getting to know someone, you ask that person questions about himself or herself to get a feel for that person? Generally I am okay with this Q&A, but there is one question I absolutely abhor:

What kind of music do you listen to?

I know some people are all about this question and can't wait to tell you who their favorite bands are. They like music, they identify with it, it shapes their world and speaks to them. They want to express themselves through the music they listen to and love. And if you haven't ever heard of their bands or the music they listen to you, you are OUT. I call these people music snobs. I think Justin is a borderline music snob. I asked him to provide me with exactly how much music he has in technical terms, and how much that is in layman's terms because I'm not a computer geek like he is and that stuff doesn't make a bit of sense to me. Here was his response:

I have 301.98 Gigs of music.
This is approximately 51,545 songs
which would take approximately:
4,690.6 hours, or 195.4 days, or 27.9 weeks, or a little over 1/2 a year of consistent listening, 24 hours a day, no repeats to listen to.

Justin can easily tell you about his favorite music and he can name off bands that are "good" bands, that will let people know he is "deep" and "intelligent" and "artistic". I'm going to let you in on a secret - I am not in to music. I listen to it, I like it, I'll sing along to it in my car. But I don't really seek out new music, I can never remember who the name of the band is, I think live music at a bar is a snore, and I update my iPod maaaaaaybe once every four months. I have extremely shallow taste in music. If I can sing to it, shake my ass to it, or it gives me good vibes, then I like it. This means my tastes tend to fall mostly into pop and indie music.

I hesitated to even ADMIT that! My fingers paused on the keyboard while I stared at that sentence wondering if I was making a mistake. I feel like you all have just judged me right now. "Pop and indie music? JEEZ, what a shallow talentless whore. I bet she barely passed third grade and her deepest conversations are about Jersey Shore and what outfit she's wearing to the club this weekend!"

I don't think that I am a shallow person. I don't think I'm a person that is easy to peg into any one 'category' either. My tastes and interests are far flung. I always say I'm like Walmart - I know a little bit about everything but not a whole lot about any one thing. And I tend to think that most people feel that they are complex individuals as well. That's why I haaaaaaate this question. You are automatically pegged into a category based on what your answer is. In this case, I don't feel like my honest answer would convey me in the way I would like to represent myself based on the way I think people will respond.

The reason I bring this up is because classes started last Tuesday. The first thing the teacher asked us was this stupid question. Wonderful. Just wonderful. That is exactly what I wanted to do this morning - be judged by a whole classroom full of my peers!!

And you know I'm right. Everyone makes judgments on what kind of person you are based on your response to this question. And just in case you have no idea what I'm talking about, here is the kind of person you are going to be judged as if you tell someone this is your favorite kind of music and they are not in to the same music as you:

1.) Pop - e.g. Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Rihanna, Enrique Iglasias, Bruno Mars, etc.
I feel like this is tantamount to admitting you are unable to think for yourself.

2.) Techno - e.g. Freaky Goes to Amsterdam, RA, Alexey Koltar
I'm not quite sure that anyone ever says they like Techno anymore (am I dating myself here?) but they're out there. And they're tryin' to touch their face or yours.

3.) Rock (or Shlock Rock as we call it)- Hinder, Creed, Tool, Nickleback, etc.
Because you're probably still living in your mom's basement thinking you're simultaneously bad ass and deep.

4.) Metal - e.g. Slayer, Slipknot, Megadeth, Lamb of God, etc.
You probably haven't bathed in a while and you might look like a child molester.

5.) Indie - There is no example for this because all the best Indie bands are bands that no one else has heard of.
Hipsters might be one of the most hated groups of people I've come across in a long time. They don't care though, cause they've got their 80's shades, their ironic tattoos, their flannel shirts, PBR, and disdain for everything.

6.) Country - e.g. Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, George Strait, Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, etc.
Because how many songs can you write about your girl leaving you and taking your dog, your tractor, your pick-up truck, or your man cheatin' on you?

7.) Gansta Rap - e.g. Das EFX, ODB, Ghostface Killah, Wu-Tang Clan, etc.
You probably just shot someone in the hood for frontin' on ya game. Or you want everyone to think you did.

8.) Alt Rock - U2, Dave Matthews Band, Coldplay, Rage Against the Machine, etc.
You are passionate about any causes these bands tell you are important and you know how much better a place the world could be if everyone would just, you know, listen to the music man!

You can easily spot other people who hate this question and don't want to be judged because they look uncomfortable for a second and then say: "I listen to everything but country."

Because there's just no cool way to admit you like country music.

My next class was right after that one and the teacher asked everyone what their favorite restaurant in Columbus was. I had plenty of answers for that.


  1. Please write a blog everyday. You make the world a better place.

  2. I don't know who you are Anon but I wubs you.

  3. PS - That totally made my day but there is no way I could possibly write a blog every day unless I didn't work, didn't go to school, and/or didn't have a boyfriend and a house to take care of.

  4. Yeah, I'm with you on this one. I like music, and there are some bands/artists that I like a bunch. I never know how to answer that question, though.

    Interestingly, I posed the "favorite music" question to my 2nd and 3rd graders in a getting-to-know-you game and several of them said they didn't have an opinion. At least we're not alone!

  5. Haha. I remember someone asking this question to my fourth grade class. Everyone that was cool listened to WNCI (Pop station in Columbus) but my mom always listened to Oldies, so that's what I listened to. I got made fun of so much. That's probably another reason why I hate this question.

  6. This is one of the best posts (and funniest) I've seen in a long time! You are funny, smart, and damn talented!

    You are so right! I just respond with "the kind that sounds good to me." I hate snobs of all types relating to anything.

  7. *Blush!* Thanks Pat!

    Snobs make everything less fun. I think from now on I'm just going to start making up band names and see what people say.

    "OH yeah, The Biscuit Disciples are probably my favorite band. Or may Pirouettes on the Seashore. I do really dig Puppies in my Nostrils though. Gosh, it's so hard to decide!"

  8. I like country music. But I also like classical, choral, what is now called 'Top 40' (at least most of it), and what according to iTunes is 'World' - Celtic Woman, Josh Groban, Michael Buble...

    I'm eclectic. I'm like Walmart, too, I guess. I hate that question because I always get made fun of for liking classical and choral music. I'm a choir geek and don't care.

    You're funny. :)

  9. Maggie - Hey, you know what, most people have geeky aspects to their personality. I do. My boyfriend DEFINITELY does. OWN that geekiness! :-D And thanks! I try.

  10. Randomly reading old posts tonight, and this is AWESOME. i once dated a "music snob" who activly sought out indie bands that "no one else knew" so he could name them and tell his friends about them, and then totally hate them as soon as anyone knew who the hell he was talking about. He's now an Ex, cause that was just one major aspect of his douchbaggery. But i love this post. EPIC.

  11. Hollis - Haha YAY! Music snobs are difficult when you're not a music snob. Thankfully Justin is just borderline and can listen to just about anything without being a douche. I dated a musician once and it was AWEFUL. Glad you liked it though! :-)


Talk to the Cake Betch - I'll always respond. Unless you're a dick, then I'll just be mad.