One of Those Mornings

I don't even have to explain, you already know what I'm talking about when I say, "One of those mornings." This one occurred because of a meeting.

Generally I try to avoid meetings.... I never have anything I can add because I'm not directly involved in the projects they're covering and I don't really need any of the information being exchanged in it. I think my boss has caught on to my general distaste for them because he stopped asking me to go to them on a regular basis. Or maybe it's because of days like Wednesday.

I will be the first to admit that I've let myself go a little at work. I used to wear nothing but stilettos and dress shirts with matching accessories. Now I shlump in wearing brown uggs under my black dress pants and I have a hoodie on every day. I'm going to say that a huge reason why I look dumpier is because I freeze my fucking ass off at work (unable to maintain body heat + sitting under vent + near window = frozen Cake). I'm old enough now and get seen seldom enough since I no longer do customer service that I'd rather just be warm and comfortable and get more sleep than get up and do my hair every day. Most days this doesn't matter because I see the same five people every day.

Wednesday I got a text at 9:50am from my direct boss, asking me to "bring a sign in sheet to our 10:00 meeting." Now, the meeting was on my calendar, but he never asks me to go to his meetings anymore, so I didn't know I was supposed to be there. And I looked like shit. Really. But, it should be fine, probably just the normal crowd.

WRONG. Not only do I get in there 10 minutes late, there are about 20 people in there including my boss, the head of our department, and the head administrator for the city.

There are engineers from other companies there, discussing our biggest project. The head of our department had told my boss before that I needed to dress a little more appropriately (because at one point I was wearing a hoodie that was five sizes too big and supplementing that with a pink fleece Scottie dog blankie), so me looking bad has been an issue before. And I roll in looking like I'd just crawled out of a burlap sack of fighting cats... in front of the three people who are most critical to me keeping my job. Guess where the only empty seat at the entire table is?

It was terrible. I was so embarrassed. My hair was a grease bomb, I had on a maroon hoodie that probably wasn't really work appropriate and I was covered in dog hair because I had to take Kaiser in for his eye surgery that morning.

I told myself I was going home after school that evening and doing my nails, my hair, changing my makeup, ironing some dress clothes, and *gasp* shaving my legs. I was going to clean up and never embarrass my boss again.

I'm sure you can guess what happened. And just in case you can't.... I took a picture in all of my full, no makeup, unadulterated morning glory. Happy Friday!

My Mom Says I Curse Too Much on My Blog

She says the cursing might offend some people, and someday if an employer reads my blog I might not get hired (or I could get fired).

To address the offensive part: I gave some thought to this, and I tried to clean up my mouth type a little, but I just can't help it. I like expletives. They're so colorful, so definitive, bold, unflinching.... and crude. I do use curse words in my every day vocabulary, but not quite as much as I do in my blog. Why? I'm not sure, but I know I like to use them to really drive home certain points. I did however change the blog settings to "over 18" or "questionable adult content" or whatever it actually says so that people are forewarned. And for you, dear reader, if cursing offends you, this blog is probably not for you. But if you're a foul mouthed son of a bitch like me, we should have some fun! Whhheeeeeeee!!

And for the employer part: This actually concerned me a little more. I'm sure it wouldn't take very long for any employer or future employer to figure out who I am and read my blog and I think they could very easily get the wrong idea about me from my blog. This blog is my 'party' side, my 'fun, crude, rude, tell it like it is' side. I have another side, and that is Business Cake Betch. I can flip between Party Cake Bitch and Business Cake Betch with the drop of a hat. I can walk like, talk like, look like, and be a consummate professional. I'm educated, well read, can easily hold a friendly business-appropriate conversation with anyone, and I know what is and isn't appropriate in the workplace. I've gotten every job I've ever applied for except for one (but I had absolutely no qualifications for it). Justin told me the first time he met me (at work) he thought I was a consultant of some sort. The point I'm trying to make here is that Party Cake Betch knows where her time and place is.

And you know what? I don't know if I want to work for someone who can't appreciate a little crudeness and humor in an appropriate venue, so there.

Here is a pictorial explanation of the spread between Business Cake Betch and Party Cake Betch. I'd like to explain it using this glorious mullet because, of course, mullets are business in the front and party in the back. Just like me!

Okay, this is Business Cake Betch. No cursing, clean, well dressed, gotten plenty of sleep, bright, and chipper. Ready for a business meeting, talking with clients, or giving a speech. No flashy clothes, nothing that stands out in any way. I can't offend people, I don't look trendy, and I basically blend in with all the other suits.

This is for days that I know I'll only be in the office, or if I'm in a more relaxed atmosphere where people are allowed to be a little more individual. Might go for the cute curly hair, and I'd add some nice jewelry that otherwise might be too "flashy". I feel comfortable rolling my sleeves up and I've probably got some cute heels on instead of nondescript neutral shoes.

Most companies I've worked for let you wear jeans on Fridays. By Friday I've probably lost a lot of sleep and so I've slept on my hair and had to do it in such a way that it isn't obvious that I have bed head. I'll usually put on a more casual short sleeved shirt, and might even do some bright jewelry so I don't feel invisible.

Yay! It's the weekend! I can stop talking like a smart, witty, graceful politician and be that girl at the bar that drinks beer, eats nachos, and burps! I can wear jeans that have some holes or have been dyed, and I can wear a t-shirt. And I can DRINK!

Then there is the Cake Betch has had a rough week or needs an excuse to drink. It's also the Cake Betch you generally get on my blog. The outrageous party say anything Cake Betch you all know and (hopefully?) love.

Any employer that doesn't want to hire ME obviously doesn't know what he or she is missing! And any employer that DOES want to hire me after reading my blog... CONTACT ME! I think we could get along fabulously.