Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My Mom Says I Curse Too Much on My Blog

She says the cursing might offend some people, and someday if an employer reads my blog I might not get hired (or I could get fired).

To address the offensive part: I gave some thought to this, and I tried to clean up my mouth type a little, but I just can't help it. I like expletives. They're so colorful, so definitive, bold, unflinching.... and crude. I do use curse words in my every day vocabulary, but not quite as much as I do in my blog. Why? I'm not sure, but I know I like to use them to really drive home certain points. I did however change the blog settings to "over 18" or "questionable adult content" or whatever it actually says so that people are forewarned. And for you, dear reader, if cursing offends you, this blog is probably not for you. But if you're a foul mouthed son of a bitch like me, we should have some fun! Whhheeeeeeee!!

And for the employer part: This actually concerned me a little more. I'm sure it wouldn't take very long for any employer or future employer to figure out who I am and read my blog and I think they could very easily get the wrong idea about me from my blog. This blog is my 'party' side, my 'fun, crude, rude, tell it like it is' side. I have another side, and that is Business Cake Betch. I can flip between Party Cake Bitch and Business Cake Betch with the drop of a hat. I can walk like, talk like, look like, and be a consummate professional. I'm educated, well read, can easily hold a friendly business-appropriate conversation with anyone, and I know what is and isn't appropriate in the workplace. I've gotten every job I've ever applied for except for one (but I had absolutely no qualifications for it). Justin told me the first time he met me (at work) he thought I was a consultant of some sort. The point I'm trying to make here is that Party Cake Betch knows where her time and place is.

And you know what? I don't know if I want to work for someone who can't appreciate a little crudeness and humor in an appropriate venue, so there.

Here is a pictorial explanation of the spread between Business Cake Betch and Party Cake Betch. I'd like to explain it using this glorious mullet because, of course, mullets are business in the front and party in the back. Just like me!

Okay, this is Business Cake Betch. No cursing, clean, well dressed, gotten plenty of sleep, bright, and chipper. Ready for a business meeting, talking with clients, or giving a speech. No flashy clothes, nothing that stands out in any way. I can't offend people, I don't look trendy, and I basically blend in with all the other suits.

This is for days that I know I'll only be in the office, or if I'm in a more relaxed atmosphere where people are allowed to be a little more individual. Might go for the cute curly hair, and I'd add some nice jewelry that otherwise might be too "flashy". I feel comfortable rolling my sleeves up and I've probably got some cute heels on instead of nondescript neutral shoes.

Most companies I've worked for let you wear jeans on Fridays. By Friday I've probably lost a lot of sleep and so I've slept on my hair and had to do it in such a way that it isn't obvious that I have bed head. I'll usually put on a more casual short sleeved shirt, and might even do some bright jewelry so I don't feel invisible.

Yay! It's the weekend! I can stop talking like a smart, witty, graceful politician and be that girl at the bar that drinks beer, eats nachos, and burps! I can wear jeans that have some holes or have been dyed, and I can wear a t-shirt. And I can DRINK!

Then there is the Cake Betch has had a rough week or needs an excuse to drink. It's also the Cake Betch you generally get on my blog. The outrageous party say anything Cake Betch you all know and (hopefully?) love.

Any employer that doesn't want to hire ME obviously doesn't know what he or she is missing! And any employer that DOES want to hire me after reading my blog... CONTACT ME! I think we could get along fabulously.


  1. Haha...I would totally hire you! Your drawings should be made into a book, they're hilarious.

  2. I'll hire you. Of course I have no job, I'm dead broke, I live pay check to paycheck when I am lucky enough to get a paycheck.... but I live in blue jeans, hoodies, and flip flips (chuck taylors in winter), so even at your most casual... you'll class up the joint.
    I'll let you know as soon as I start my own mega million dollar company, you can be Head Cake Betch. Oh, or maybe I'll give all emplyoees their own fancy schmancy titles? How about "Admiral"? "Admiral Cake Betch"... got a nice ring to it doesn't it? :)

  3. Thanks Lin! If you're ever in the market for some Paint drawings let me know :-D

  4. And Goofy Girl - Hellz yes! I'm totally down!

  5. Is it totally sad that after reading the title alone, I just wanted to say "Mom, go fuck yourself"?? Because, honestly, I felt sad for thinking that. I mean, I would be hella pissed if someone said that to my mom.
    Unless it was me.
    But I would say "Damn you" instead. Because I don't wanna get slapped. Or 30yo-lives-outta-state grounded.

    OH, back to you... I honestly think you have to have a happy medium. Clearly, you do. You know when you let loose (as expressed by scribbling party time pics) and you know when to be all prim & proper. Some people (ahem! Who shall remain nameless) have issues being all prim and proper at work. I'm like the backside of a mullet ONLY. No business up front, just the party in the back.

  6. Mom just wanted me to keep my career and other people in mind when I write expletive filled blogs; she curses too. She said either that or "make it so people can't find out who you are" but I already kind of blew that info out so that option was out.

    And everyone needs people who are all party in the back. It balances out those people who are all business in the front :-D

  7. wow! I didn't know that a mullet had so many layers. I'd hire you just because you would teach me something every day.

    P.S. - that warning about the adult content made me think you had switched to porn on this blog. me thinks its a smidge too much.

  8. Mullets are amazingly layered. Sometimes they're so layered you can hide things in them, like half eaten suckers or a small family of birds.

    And do you think the warning is too much? I drop the F-Bomb like it's my job. I'll take it off if that's going overboard.

  9. My mom always complains about the same thing. She freaks out if I mention anything that's the slightest bit untoward. It irritates me so much! It's not like I have anything to hide. I shouldn't have to tone down my personality to fit someone's standard of conformity (online anyway. As a professional I'm all about conforming). I just hope that most companies are smart enough to realize that people can compartmentalize and act appropriately in whatever situation they find themselves. So swear away!!

  10. Yes I hope so too, and I would be even more thrilled to meet an employer who LIKED my sense of humor and realizes that just because I curse and write about nonsensical stuff doesn't mean I can't be a kick ass employee (and I am). I understand where she's coming from, and she's not pushy or naggy about it, she's only said it to me once, so I really can't complain about it.

  11. You can't deny the power of the mullet.

  12. I think that employers will understand. Or at least I hope so. Because I def do my best blogging at work on their comp so I'm pretty sure they at least "know" about it. It's not like I swear my life away during meetings. Although I do roll my eyes. A lot.

  13. I dunno, you never really know. I don't really roll my eyes so much as I fall asleep because I usually end up going to meetings where I'm not needed and therefore have nothing to participate or gain.

  14. Somehow, someone got referred to my blog from this post. Amazingly, I think the powers that be wanted me to read it, for some reason or another. Yes, I can party it up, if need be, and I do drop a few curse words here or there, but for the most part, my blogs are clean (are they not?) simply because I was the good kid. Always have been. I can be the bad kid, but when I am, sometimes, it seems like I try too hard.

    It's like "yea, girl, I know you threw that word in there just so you would look cool, don't lie foo" and I walk away embarrassed. I've slipped a few scheisses at my internship and not gotten caught, and I make the occasional off remark. Someday, some employer might find my blog, but seeing as there are a billion Ashleys out there, it may take some time.

    I'm the girl who shows up early, does a bunch of work, becomes part of the furniture, asks for extra work to do, brings work home with her (yes, I just finished internship work, and I've been up for 16 hours now). I'm the one people slap for reminding someone that a deadline is coming up by asking a question about said deadline. I'm the one that dresses up and raises the bar for everyone else. I'm the one everyone loves to hate.

    Then I come in on Friday in jeans, a Tshirt, and tennis shoes, and they're like WTF??

    And the clients? They still think I'm a high schooler.

    I know it's good to look young, but seriously? The line has to stop somewhere. My sister is almost 16, for crying out loud.

    What was I saying? Jesus, it's almost midnight, and I haven't taken my meds. No wonder I'm losing my train of thought.

    Anyway, you've seen both sides of me (I think, haha), and I think that the potential for cursing in my blog, as well as the fact that I'm earning a degree in 2 months and 15 days and taking the test for a licensure may have led me to this blog, to see what I face if future employers DO dig and find my blog. And see that I follow a Cake Betch (just kidding ♥) thanks for writing about this, and thanks to whomever it was that linked to my blog from this (tonight, I might add), however they did that, haha, because that is totally awesome.

  15. ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - You don't have to curse or drink or anything to be cool. If there's one thing I've realized as I get older it's that it doesn't matter what other people think of you. Well, your peers at least, it matters what your boss or employer thinks of you. I was always the 'good girl' too, and I still am compared to a lot of people I know. I was always the nerd growing up. Whatevs. I like who I am and even though it took the better part of 25 some years to get there, I'm there.
    All that stuff you do will get you noticed in your job. Your peers might think it's obnoxious but it's because you're making them work harder. Don't let anyone pull you down to their level. You're not going to be any different if you're just like everyone else.
    It must be fate that brought you here, to my obviously intense words of wisdom :-) Go now and prosper.

  16. More people came to my blog from here. They really must be trying to tell me something. That or I'm at the top of your blog roll again.

    This time, my mother corrected my blog. I do not look older than I am. I look younger than I am. My mom didn't tell me I curse too much. She told me I look too young. Comforting. I love my mom. About as much as....well, actually, I will leave that sentence hanging.

    I do think I've left a pretty good rep for myself. I do have fun once in a while. I don't mind being the "good girl" that I am. It makes me the person that everyone likes to keep employed. My peers....well, they've actually done better than me by going and getting graduate degrees....ok, this is making me feel bad. I'm employable and I do a good job. 23 and a half years of hard work. I'm (usually) smart and dependable. I work hard for what I get and I HATE when people tell me I didn't work for something.

    It was fate, I suppose. It was kismet.
    *holds up the go forth and prosper sign*
    Thanks for all the traffic, friend

    Oh, and all the intense wisdom. Otherwise, I'd be lost in this world


Talk to the Cake Betch - I'll always respond. Unless you're a dick, then I'll just be mad.