Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Addition: The Ingrate Asshole

Did you ever read my blog about the different types of assholes? If not this won't make a ton of sense. You should check that out first.

And now - one of the assholes that I left out: The Ingrate Asshole

You know what I really appreciate? I appreciate it when traffic is bumper to bumper and I need to get over and someone slows down to let me over into their lane. Or someone at a red light waves and lets me make a turn in front of them onto the road. You know how I show my appreciation? A wave. It's really simple, it doesn't even have to be a wave. Sometimes I just jab my hand into the air and splay my fingers and show them my palm. It's super easy, it takes only a mere second, and I don't have to use any muscles other than the ones in my arm and voila!- I've shown that I appreciate someone being friendly and helpful.

So it really chaps my ass when I wave someone out in front of me or let someone over and they do not acknowledge what an amazing humanitarian I am. A few days ago someone did this to me - someone driving a GOLF CART.

I have to drive right through the middle of a golf course (don't ask me why they decided to split the damn thing in half with a road) to get to and from work every day. I already hate driving by golf courses because of the time a golf ball went through my dad's windshield when I was like three or four. Having glass in my hair and my mom screaming because she though I was hurt forever stamped a fear of golf courses in me.

So I'm driving and I come to a four way stop that leads to a neighborhood on either side. Since the golf course is right behind the the neighborhood it is not uncommon to see people driving their golf carts through this intersection. As I approach some older guy is sitting in a golf cart with his leg hanging off the side on the sidewalk giving me the stank eye. There was nothing wrong with his leg by the way, he was just making himself comfortable. Since he was already way ahead of me, I stop and wave at him to go ahead and cross. He continues to stare at me. I wave to him again to go ahead and cross. He continues to stare.

I wave once more. He finally sees me. Turns his head and starts to drive across the road.
Surely, this nice old man just looks like he's giving me the stank eye and is probably appreciative of the fact that this young kid has such good manners and is letting him drive his 200lb golf cart across the road at a mile per hour when instead she could have blazed through the intersection without even looking at him.

He's just going to get up to speed and then he'll wave, I'm sure.

No one is that big of a douche to not wave to someone in a car when they're driving through an intersection in a fucking golf cart in golf clothes they probably paid $500 for because they're rolling in dough and therefore think it's perfectly fucking normal to be golfing in the middle of the day on a work week.

No. Snubbed.

The next time I see that bastard driving his golf cart I'm going to wave him across the road again and when he takes off I'm going to pop the clutch and floor it at him. We'll see how smart and comfortable he feels in his fucking GOLF CART then.


  1. There are lot's of assholes out there. I hate this guy (and his ilk) as well...They really piss me off! Or maybe it's because I'm retired and I never learned how to golf...

    as always...hilarious words and drawings!

  2. I know! I think golfing is way overrated anyway :-)


Talk to the Cake Betch - I'll always respond. Unless you're a dick, then I'll just be mad.