Ways I Could Have Been a Child Prodigy

Justin and I are a bit out of touch when it comes to things on tv because we don't have cable. We were paying all this money for something we never used, so we canceled it. Therefore we're not privy to all the latest tv shows and reality star sensations (I still have only seen one clip from Jersey Shore - Snooki getting punched in the face).

However, Justin regularly trolls youtube for good videos, and he showed me the video below of a little girl named Jackie Evancho. If you already have heard of her, then good for you. But if you haven't heard her sing, watch this video:

That is insane. Crazy insane. Howie creepily asks her in one of the clips I saw if she "swallowed an adult." I get what he's asking here, but perhaps he could have phrased differently....? Anyway, she's incredible and I'm so jealous... I've always wanted to be able to sing.

But she got me thinking - if I were to be a child prodigy, what would I have been prodigious at? I came up with the following:

AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT SLEEPING - My mom says I was probably the only child who would sleep until noon on Christmas Day if she let me.

Justin is the only person I know who can sleep more than me

AMOUNT OF FOOD THAT I COULD EAT - And it led to childhood obesity. Yay!

I still look like that when I eat

TIME SPENT DIGGING FOR GOLD - And then I wiped my finger on my bed.

My mom permed my bangs when I was little. It looked effing retarded.

LENGTH AND TONE OF BURP -I practiced my burps so that I could stretch them out and make them as loud as possible because my mom hated it. My dad still tells me he regrets teaching me how to burp on command.

This has only gotten finer with age

That is all.