Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I'm Officially a Dirty Hippy

Haha just kidding. I totally drink out of plastic bottles and don't recycle them.

What I'm referring to is my 'camping trip.' What I actually did was go to Bonnaroo. I know I know, sorry for the deception, but I'm all like, "What if there's a crazy person that knows I'm leaving my house and knows where I live and wants to break into my house and wear my tampons as a hat?"

Not that I think any of you fine folks would actually do that, but if you follow me there is a possibility that you might be just a little off. Safety first!

Btw - When we got home we had to deal with this:

No idea how long that was like that. I bet my neighbors fucking loooooooooooove that. Well not these neighbors because they sleep during the day and crawl around like spiders at night.

I could probably write like 40 blog entries about Bonnaroo. Seriously, it was that fucking ridiculously crazy.
We can't get this in Ohio. We were really thrilled because basically all we did was get drunk. 
If you don't know anything about Bonnaroo look it up you fucking asshole! I'll make a short list of ways to decide if you want to go or not.

You should go to Bonnaroo if:

  • You prefer to not shower for a week while simultaneously experiencing direct sunlight from 8:00am to 5:30pm, the most dust you've seen outside of grandma's panties, and 90+ degree weather.
  • You love to inhale dust and have black boogers
My leg isn't really that fat, it's a bad angle. I swear. I have nice legs.
  • You love to be accosted by hippies that walk around following the smell of weed so they can, "You know, make a trade, man."
  • You love to sleep on the ground in a tent that is over 100 degrees by 8:00am. Also, the tent leaks at night when it rains. 
  • You love severe sunburns even though you put on an entire gallon of 50spf lotion
  • You love to smell yourself with the rankest BO you ever produced, as well as 500,000 OTHER people's BO. 

  • You love to walk 20 fucking miles every day
  • You love to sit in your car for 5 hours waiting to get into the campground
  • You're one of those people that HAS to have bragging rights about going to such and such concert and seeing such and such band. 
  • You love asking your neighbor to jump your truck and then realizing that he and his wife are in their car smoking some meth
  • You love to hear that same neighbor scream such things at his wife as: "You're a WHORE. No YOU'RE a piece of shit! I'm not the one sexting my BOYFRIEND while I'm on vacation with my HUSBAND." Then watch her throw cans at his head and run away. Yeah. Domestic abuse is SO MUCH FUN.
  • You enjoy sitting under a canopy for up to six hours because it's too goddamned hot to even move. 

  • You love to sit on dirt a mile away from every band you could possibly want to see
  • You love having your only bathroom be a Porta John that sits and bakes in the sun all goddamned day and is filled with flies and used by other dirty hippies that aren't shy about shitting on the floor or pissing all over the toilet seat. Bonus points if you love not using toilet paper and waiting in line for 40 minutes to use the bathroom. 

I'm sorry to any of you that read this and have gone to Bonnaroo and enjoyed it. What the fuck were you thinking?? It was probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

Justin and I were talking about Aborigines  (you know, like you do) on the way home and how they go on a "walkabout" or spiritual journey. I feel like Bonnaroo was my spiritual journey, my test of strength. I honestly thought I'd lose my mind and bludgeon Justin or some hapless hippy to death with the useless fan in our tent. You might say that I'm a tid bit high-maintenance, but I say I'm just too old to fucking want to do that shit ever fucking again. Basically, I learned that I'm a much tougher mo fo than I thought I was.

And much smellier too. I mean, I knew before that I could work up a mean case of BO, but I have washed my pits like four times with antibacterial soap and they STILL STINK.  


  1. I can't get past that awesome pic of your ginormous calf and dirty-hippy foot.

  2. vickilikesfrogs - DAMMIT Vicki, I said my legs aren't that fat! It's just a bad angle! I will freely admit to a fat belly and flabby arms but my calves are pretty svelte. Gotta claim it when I can.

  3. That is why I have never been to Bonnaroo.

  4. You're right, ain't NOTHING like Bonnaroo in OH. I can't determine whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

  5. greengeekgirl - And why I will never go again.
    Angela - Bonnaroo was actually in Tennessee, not Ohio. So not only did we have to do that but I had to ride 12 fucking hours in the car each way to get there.

  6. Dang! Sounds like a blast! (Or something.)

    And I am truly sorry that you can't get Fat Tire on a regular basis. You know, that brewery is 15 miles from my house, and it makes an awesome destination bike ride. (Yeah, I am totally not bragging or anything.)

  7. Hmm! So you DID have a good time? :-)


  8. p.s. Another ":-)" at you 'cuz I was being a smart ass. Sorry it was such a drag. Someone should buy you a nice dinner. :-)

  9. I live an hour away from it and I know better. I tried the festival stuff before and learned my lessons long ago. haha

  10. Leauxra - YOU ARE SUCH A BETCH! Seriously, can I come stay with you for like a week? I want to do a beer tour in CO or OR (cause they have Rogue).
    Pearl - I TOTALLY AGREE. But SOMEONE paid for the damn tickets so he probably doesn't want to take me out for a nice dinner. And besides I got all high and mighty when we got back and was like, "If I can do that, I can lose 20lbs." So now I'm dieting. Haha
    TS Hendrik - If I lived an hour away I MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT consider doing it again but it took us 12 hours to get there. I do not do well on long car trips and it was not what I would call a good time.

  11. You did hippy you.

    I hope you at least had a good time?

    Yeah you really have to be prepared for those outdoor venues in the summer. You know what kicks ass? Wet Wipes.

    You also have to be so mentally prepared to deal with hippies. I feel for ya there sister. I fucking loathe dirty-ass-patchouli-stinking-hairy-hippies.

  13. Oilfield Trash - Uh. Right. Actually, once the sun went down and my BAC went up I had a good time.
    CkretsGalore - I totally used like half a box of them and I can't tell you how many bottles of hot water I poured on myself. I AM STILL DIRTY. We scrubbed in the shower when we got home and couldn't get all the crap off. I blame that spray on tan crap.

  14. Gah! I lost my comment!!!
    ...ok, where was I...first of all, a woman of your obvious class, deserves the Ritz Carlton. I don't think of it as high maintenance, I think of it as what is dully owed to you.
    I will say though, that for some reason I can't explain (and if you ever tell anybody I said this, I'll deny it!) I find armpit smell deeply interesting, maybe not for, like, a week straight, but then again, how would I know, I usually bathe after two or three days...So glad you came out alive and not a meth addict.

  15. ugh, this sounds like my worst fucking nightmare.

    but at least you got that rad pic of the girl being knocked out by your armpit flames.

  16. Sandra - Justin told me I could pick the vacation next time AND we could call room service. Also, surprisingly it was not bad at all (the smell). We didn't really notice it until we got in the car on the way home and were in close quarters :-D I'm glad I'm not a meth addict too cause that shit iz nasty.
    You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun - Yeah right?? I didn't actually take that pic of the girl, but it is from Bonnaroo. I was so pleased to find someone appearing to keel over.

  17. You're not high maintenance, Bonnaroo is one of Dante's levels of hell, which one I don't know because I've never been conned into going! Glad you made it back alive :)

  18. Hilarious!
    Oh yeah! I've been to these things (not Bonaroo) and agree with your assessment. The good news is, you didn't take any acid. Right?

  19. Rebecca - That is a perfect way to describe it!! When Justin first mentioned it I was like, "Oh yeah, we should go someday" and then he bought tickets. FUCK.
    Pat Tillett - No! I did not take acid. I have never tried acid and I don't want to, I don't think I could handle it. Lol.

  20. Hahahahahaha. You crazy cake person.
    Your account makes me wanna go to the Bonnaroo more. And shame on you, you didn't even talk about the music. Whaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy?

    And you've had your "I'm too old for this shit" moment.

    Aah Cake Betch, grey hair and all?

  21. Peevie Juice - I didn't talk about the music because it wasn't even about that for me. I saw some bands, they were okay, I was mostly trying not to lose my mind. And don't tell anyone but I totes have gray hairs. I found 8 when I was 24. Never dyed my hair dark again.

  22. Fuck! I am stuck in Utah while you are out getting drunk at Bonnaroo? You are such a spoiled bitch!

  23. Mrs. Pickle - I'm back in Ohio now. But I totally would have traded places with you. I'd rather be drunk in Utah than in hell. I mean Bonnaroo.

  24. This sounds like the time I volunteered hike into the Grand Canyon for a week with fourteen teenaged girls and a nun. Only worse. And with beer. So possibly better.

  25. I.Love.Your.Blog.

    I laughed my ass off while reading this. I love your illustrations too, they're fantastic. Keep it up!

  26. I always get invited to Bonnaroo, and I always turn it down every single time. It's like, I know, let's go listen to 8 bands all at once and not shower!

    "Hey, what are you listening to?"

    "Oh, I'm listening to Lil Wayne, Primus, some shitty local band called Fart Knuckle, and a standup routine by Kathy Griffin. Alone it sounds terrible, but together it sounds like heaven!"

  27. Mandy_Fish - OMG. So you understand. We did take lots of beer though. I'm pretty sure I wouldnt have made it without beer.
    Laura - Awww spanks! I will try to keep it up but I basically have to wait for stupid stuff to happen to me :-)
    A Beer for the Shower - EXACTLY. Exactly. And I LOLed so hard at Fart Knuckle. We ended up seeing a bunch of bands that I didn't know at all and like four good ones. I didn't care, I was too hot.

  28. Hee. While not as intense, I got back from Hang Out Fest a few weeks ago, and it was kind of the same experience. Okay, no it wasn't. It's on a beach with soft white sand and there is an ocean nearby to wash in. Nevermind.

    But I do still hate drunk crowds and not even being able to see the bands I love without wondering if pissing myself might be an issue. So, there's that. I feel ya. Kind of.

  29. Tara, once again great work. Im sure you had fun even if you don't ever want to go to that again. And i can only imagine the above represents half of the stories you have to tell. ;)

  30. Star Kicker - WTF? Obviously I went to the wrong fucking festival. A beach and ocean? Versus remote fucking nowhere and dust clouds??
    The crowds weren't TOO bad. I think it was actually too hot to get really drunk. I know it slowed my drinking down (which almost never happens).
    jarrod877 - Oh why thank you Jared. I would say that I had an okay time and I'm glad I had the experience because it made me realize that I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. That probably sounds cheesy but it's true. If I can get through a fucking week of Bonnaroo I can do anything.

  31. Ah yes, the good ol' sanican sauna. I get to look forward to some of those this summer. Note to self: practice holding your breath....

  32. Well damn! I *did* so totally want to break into your house and wear your tampons as a hat. Thanks for spoiling my fun.

  33. Entertaining account, although doesn't make me want to attend anytime soon!

  34. If I want to experience 100+ degree temps, I can just walk out my front door. In fact, it's still 90+ right now. At night. Shit.

    BO? I shared a bathroom with my brother for 7 years. Now I have an internship where I get to spend all day with 16 teenage guys, and I get to smell plenty of BO because they all go play basketball in the 100+ degree weather.

    Tons of walking? I do that a lot. Random places for random reasons.

    Bands? They don't come here.

    At least I get to sleep in my own bed at night, but this is the first chance I've had to look at blogs in a while, because I've been so caught up in homework and internship crap. I've still got homework to do but I need ME time. This is my me time. By the way, you are now officially my all time highest source of traffic. Thanks! I love you! And not just because of traffic, but that's cool too :)

    I'll be doing the 12 hour car trip July 1st and July 7th. Not looking forward to it. At least I'll have interwebs....I'll probably be tweeting all day...ha

    THE Ashley

  35. Is this the East Coast's version of Burning Man? (Are you on the East Coast? I'm not sure.) It sounds and looks like Burning Man, though I've never been and will stay away.

    I do believe your leg is svelte, though.


  36. By the way, the whole Google animation thing blew my mind. I love how you did that. I so totally wouldn't have been able to figure out how to do that. I would have put a step by step in paint, or something like that, but not an animation. I'm ashamed of myself now.

  37. Oh but you made it sound so awesome!!! I will definitely be thinking about a festival now... *sits back and sips tea from bone china dainty tea cups*

  38. Tara, I totally understand where your coming from. I'm not nearly the music afficionado Justin is but like him I think it would be cool to see a lot of those bands. Of course on the other hand, if it were me, I would probably choose a venue like lollapalooza (Chicago) where i could retire to a hotel room after the day and probably would only go on the days I knew and liked the bands that were playing.

    For you though, it was more of an eye opening experience. Maybe it was a wake up call that you didn't want to go through that again, maybe you realized you were alot mentally and emotionally tougher person, etc. Bottom line is that at the end of the day it made you appreciate the simple things in life we all take for granted.

    I think we have all been through that, and hopefully it makes us better people.

  39. On My Soapbox - I took a bandanna to hide my greasy hair and ended up using it so that I could breathe. It was seriously making my chest hurt to take in all that dust and sand. My eyes have itched ever since too.

    Riot Kitty - Aww... I'm sorry. How about if you just come over while I'm home and wear them? I swear I won't make fun of you. In fact, I'll give you beers!

    Lazarus - It is not my bag either Lazarus. Not my bag.

    ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - There is no way I could do that. I am not a cold weather person by any means but I am definitely not a hot weather person either. I'm extremely susceptible to weather change, I don't know why. I usually start out my (summer) mornings with a hoodie and end up in shorts and a tank top by afternoon. My body sucks at regulating temperature. - I think it's kind of like Burning Man but I'm not sure cause I've never been to Burning Man. I think BM is a little more hippy-centric while Bonnaroo attracts a pretty diverse group of people. Also, I think technically we're 'mid-west' in Ohio but we're definitely more east than we are west.

    ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - Darling I have no idea what you're talking about. Lol. I don't think that I've done any kind of animation :-) Are you talking about the Google homepage?? Cause that's totes Google, not me.

    Bourgeoise without the Bohemia - Lol if you're not a hot weather person I suggest a one day festival. Something where you can shower, and brush your teeth, and use real bathrooms. *sits back and sips coffee from her Tim Horton's cup*

    jarrod877 - I agree, going to a hotel at night would have been amazing. You can take motor homes down there but it's super expensive. That would be fine too expect you're RIGHT at Centaroo so you get to hear EVERYTHING. We were so far away that when we got to our campsite you couldn't really hear anything (so you could sleep).
    And it definitely was an experience, for sure. I feel like it kind of gave me a reset button on my brain because I've been letting my brain (and anxiety) run the show for a while and now I feel like I'm back in control. So corny, I know.

  40. Well, crap. I have one of these concerts coming up, and now have a sudden feeling of anxiety. Wish me luck that I may at least stay drunk enough to not notice other ppl's BO. Sounds like you had quite the interesting(?) time. lol.

    Also, that is hands down my favorite beer ever! I, like Leauxra, live close by and can get it all the time. Maybe we should send you some!? ;) I would not like to live in a world where I could not get my Fat Tire!

  41. I love doing all that stuff! I should have been there with you...we could have realized that our neighbor and his wife were in their car smoking meth TOGETHER!!

    ps. Are you cute or what??? (translation: You are so cute!) ;P

  42. Martinezster - The BO was not bad until we got in the car. I may have exaggerated that part for comedic purposes. Seriously, I didn't have any problems with smelling others. I would say interesting times were had, definitely.

    And UM YESSSSSSSSSSSS! If you send us beer we will be like best frans forever and ever. I would say we'd send you something you can get but WTF can't you get? Ohio is pretty boring.

  43. bschooled - You snuck in there, you sneaky little sneak you. And why WEREN'T you there? If you had come we could have each stood on either side of the windows. You could have witnessed their fucking three hour long scream fest from three feet away! Ahh, memories.

    PS. Tee hee! You're making me blush!

  44. While I like the smell of my B.O. because it reminds me of hamburgers, you would never catch me at one of those things. I won't even go to regular indoor concerts because apparently I have my own personal giant who follows me to those things and stands right in front of me. His name is Doug. Nice fella.

    Also, you linked to me?? Thanks, woman! I was here before and I saw that and I was like, that's a weird coincidence, I think I wrote about a tampon hat at some point. Hmm.

  45. Too funny. I LOVE your illustrations!

  46. Steam Me Up, Kid - Justin's BO smelled like pizza cause that's just about the only thing we ate besides brats. Also - he is one of those personal giants because he's 6'5", everyone hates him at concerts. I hate him too cause he won't let me sit on his shoulders.

    And of COURSE I linked you. Cause you know, if I steal your idea and then don't credit you I'm a huge asshole. BUT I linked to your page! Instantly absolved of being an asshole! Yep, totally kosher to steal your ideas as long as I link to you. And thank you. I didn't actually draw them, I just photoshopped them. FTW.

    Cakeologist - Awww thanks miss :-)

  47. I tee-hee'd in my pants. This post confirmed everything I've ever felt about dirty hippies and dirty hippie concerts things. They are dirty and there will be shit-caked Porta-Petri Dishes where Ebola (Dirty Hippe strain) will eventually rear up from the shitmordial ooze and kill us all. Yes, even you easy listening fucks will eventually sucomb to the Ebola-DHS.

    I'm so proud of you having matured enough to hate sweat and BO. You know the next logical step, right? Taking fish oil pills to ward off heart attacks or fish attacks, not sure about that, really.

    And you thought I was going to suggest parenthood! Parenthood is never a logical step, silly hippie footed betch.

  48. Pshaw. I'd totally do it again!

  49. Nicole - Are you telling me that I'm old Nicole, is that what you're telling me? That I'm an old hippy and I need to take fish oil to prevent heart attacks? Cause my dad (who really is old) takes fish oil. Orange flavored fish oil. Makes me wanna barf in my pants. Well not in my pants, the toilet or some other location that does not require me to clean it up.
    Paul - Well you and Justin can go ahead and go together next year. Poo and I will take a girl's vacation. We'll see who has a better time.

  50. Bwahahaha. Hahaha. Haha. You're awesome.

    So, some hot, smelly trip it was eh? Tampon hats. Hmm. I dream about tampon hats. Beer. I dream about beer. And black boogers? My nose bleeds. But black boogers beat blood any day.

    Did I mention you're awesome?

  51. Hilarious!! This got me thinking though. Do you think the hippies twirl at these things cause its their way of trying to create a little wind to blow away nasty hippie stank?

  52. Anon - Awww, Anon, why are you Anon? I was expecting some nasty comments from Anons. But yeah, it was smelly (on the way home). I can't say I dream of tampon hats, I totally stole that from Steam Me Up. I do dream about beer, probably cause I drink it all the time. I don't normally have black boogers. The only other time that happened was when I swept our basement (which is almost 110 years old). The last time I had a nosebleed..... never mind.

    PS <3's for you!

    Steve Bailey - YES! I bet you're right! Plus they're stoned out of their gourd, and possibly trunk. Those things tend to make everything spin.

  53. Yeah, that sounds really unfun. I've considered doing the Bonnaroo thing, but I think I'll stick with concerts near home. No port-a-potties for me!

  54. Chi-town Southerner - I wouldn't super recommend it either. It was quite a challenge to get through, and I'm not even a super girlie super clean person.

  55. No, but really...tell us how you REALLY felt about it. Ha! (NOTHING is worse than a portapotty at an event with huge crowds of drunk people. Just saying.)

  56. Stephanie - I know right? To be fair they did a pretty good job of maintaining them but that's not to say that I wanted to use them. It was such a toss up because it was too hot to do anything but drink, but if you drank, then you had to use the porta potty.

  57. THIS is fantastic. Thanks for making my bus trip to NYC feel like bubble gum and care bears.

  58. I have so much more repsect for you, holy crapples. Camping is NOT something that sounds fun to me. I would literally rather wash my vagina with listerine whilst in the middle of taking antibiotics (Cause us ladies know what that causes...Am I right? No? Shit.)

  59. iambmac - Hahahahaha. My trip was definitely not bubble gum and care bears. It was like spousal abuse and burning.
    Chelsey - LOLOLOL too. I would probably go to Bonnaroo again before I washed my vaj out with listerine because that shit BURNS. I can hardly stand to use it. In my mouth I mean <~~ What she said.

  60. i can't imagine you wouldn't be able to find fat tire (i think it's brewed in colorado?) at a specialty beer shop. my husband is a craft beer addict, that's the only reason i know this.

  61. Ally - They don't sell it in Ohio! :-( And yes, it's brewed in Colorado. Justin has been there and wants to move there and loooooves Fat Tire. I think mostly because he can't get it. We've talked about going to Indiana because they sell it there now, but that's a pretty long trip for some beer.

  62. 1. So, was it worth it? Cause the Blog effing rocked!!!!

    2. It was 101 here today so I can relate to the heat but did not piss on my floor.

    3. What do you do with the strings when making a Tampon Hat?

    4. Will you get in trouble if I tell you i Friggin Cyber Love you! I am laughing sooo hard! What an awesome storyteller!

    5. Tell them the limb is actually their problem and see if they bye it!

    Hugs from inside a COOL House- ("dumbasses, he said under his breath whist still laughing, because he's been to things like that b4!"), and is jealous that he's too Old to get off the couch anymore!)


  63. John McElveen -
    1.) Eh... yeah I'd say it was a good experience to have.
    2.) That's good! Pissing on the floor is frowned upon.
    3.) I don't even know? Tie them to your hair? Turn them into little bows? I guess that's up to the user.
    4.) No, cyber love is just fine. I <3 you too.
    5.) I have no idea what this means and I'm too frazzled to reread my blog and see if I can figure it out.
    The one nice thing is now the heat here (in Ohio) isn't so bad so we've left our AC off. That'll be a nice savings :-)

  64. Thank you for reminding that it IS okay to get too old for some things. Bonnaroo and Mardi Gras top my list.

    You may need to get a Brillo out for those pits.

  65. ChiMomWriter - Yeah, generally I feel like getting old is bad, but I look back on some of the stuff I might have done when I was younger and think, "Boy, I don't miss that."
    I finally did scratch them clean with my fingernails and lots of soap. Haha!

  66. Thank gawd you made it back and lived to tell the tale. I thought my cub scout sleep over at the Philadelphia zoo last Saturday night was bad but now I've thought better of it.

  67. OMG, I had a similar experience a few weeks ago! I mean, THIS part:

    You prefer to not shower for a week while simultaneously experiencing direct sunlight from 8:00am to 5:30pm, the most dust you've seen outside of grandma's panties, and 90+ degree weather.

    The 90+ degree weather is something I'm used to and I don't generally burn so sun is totally fine and we did the whole sleep in a tent, up all day and all night bit...

    But I think the part that scared me was the sexting to the boyfriend. I mean... because smelly dirty hairy dust covered boobs can NOT be that hot, and if they are doing something for her boyfriend, WOW. What kind of standards is she setting for herself?!

    The talk about aborigines completely made it worthwhile, though. We do that too. By we, I mean ME... and only in my head.

    (and yes, I know. You are shocked to see me. I think you are the only one who still reads me and I am THRILLED that you take the time. I finally had a moment to take my head out of my ass and wanted to share the love.)

  68. Also, Fat Tire? Worst beer ever. Well, except for the stuff that tastes like straight up vomit (belgians. sigh)

    But hey, clearly you were too drunk to notice it tastes like a fat tire ;)

  69. im also going camping soon :D 4 days of sun. sunburns will be brutal. but i cant wait :D

  70. Jotter Girl - I dunno, a zoo could potentially be even scarier. Where do you sleep at a zoo? It's not like they've got huge parks all around. Well at least they don't at the Columbus zoo. What would I know, I never go to the zoo. I'm sure it was just as trying though :-)
    Miley - You need to see this couple to understand. I don't know if she was sending photos of herself or not, but her husband was SCARY. Obviously did a lot of drugs and had a lot of anger issues. I'm guessing her boyfriend is a little sweeter to her than this guy. But the way he talked it sounded like he already KNEW about the boyfriend and was just angry that she was texting him ON VACATION. Who knows. They were both nuts.
    I'm sure I'm not the only person who reads your blog :-) But don't feel bad because I've been TERRIBLE about commenting since I got this new job. Before I had all day to read and comment and now that I actually work I don't have as much free time.
    And you think Fat Tire is bad??????? I hope my boyfriend doesn't see this. Maybe he just likes it so much because he can't have it?
    Laughing Vault - Well good luck with that! I think I could do some camping again, somewhere that wasn't so fucking hot! Despite my drawings I managed to keep from getting any real bad burns. My shoulder got burned and is peeling right now, but that's about it.

  71. Personally Ms. Dirty Hippy I think you graduated to Burning Man. Walkabout after that.

  72. I just came by (again, for the 37th time) to admire your crush of the week.

    Er, I mean, admire the photo linking to your crush of the week. That is my favorite dog pic/Lionel Richie lyric EVER. And I'm not just saying that because I popped its cherry. ;P

  73. Copyboy - I don't know, I may have graduated to that but I think I'm good with my current degree in Bonnaroo :-)
    justmakingconvo - Yaaaaay! Isn't my crush of the week SO HOT? She's my fav. Are you getting any traffic from it? I didn't know if people would actually follow it or not but I thought I'd give it a shot.
    PS - My favorite Lionel Richie line too. It's beautiful. Like the creepy bust that one chick that's like 20 years younger than him makes in her art class in the video. CREEEEEPPPPPPYYYYYY.

  74. I went to a similar place known as "Hippy Fest". I cried a lot an d got in big trouble from the high as kites hippies for throwing a can in the fire. Because it's bad for the environment. Meanwhile, they had half of the rainforest in their sinuses.

  75. Just came from Barb's blog, where she made me fucken cry with her post! Aack! So I came here looking for laughter. Where's the fucken laughter??? Draw something dammit! I miss you!

  76. Chelle - YOU TERRIBLE PERSON. You threw a CAN into a FIRE?? You're surely going to hell. I'm sure that those hippies all rode their bikes everywhere and never threw anything away and didn't put any chemicals down their drain and ate locally and so on and so forth. Damn hippies...
    Sandra - I'm sorry dollface! Stupid things don't happen to me all that often (often enough obviously) but once they do it takes forever for me to draw them. I'm working on a post though, I promise.

  77. Hi, Tara, I just wanted to let you know that I'm bestowing upon you an award. Come check it out on my page, you lovely blogger, you. :)

  78. ShanimalsCrackers - Well I'll just be right on over you cheeky lil thing you!

  79. bonaroo?! did you see henry rollins? DID YOU SEE HENRY ROLLINS?!

  80. Henriette / Kage - Noooo, we missed a lot of bands/acts that we wanted to see. It was crowded as shit and I think I only saw the stage (vs the monitor) once or twice the whole time we were there. Sorry miss :-(


    my 4-day holiday :D what do you think? :D

  82. Laughing Vault - Sweet! Are you excited??

  83. This sounds like my idea of a good time. And I am LOVING the pictures :)


  84. I went to Bonnaroo once only. The giant pterodactyls who played on the holographic stage on the third day were great.

  85. Is it sad that I'm trying to get a sunburn? Like seriously. I'm trying to get a sunburn so the one drop of Cherokee blood that I have running around somewhere will manifest itself somewhere besides my dark hair and make me tan.

    Because that's what happens when I get sun. Because I'm 99.999999 percent German, I burn first. Then the drop of Native American comes along lalala and makes me all tan for a while. Waiting for that......

    Oh, I'm a little Irish too, somewhere. And I may be exaggerating, I'm probably almost enough Native American to actually declare it and whatnot, but I haven't checked. I know I'm enough German that people call me Nazi, but I show very little of the German unless it's winter and then I'm very white...oh, and I can pronounce all those very gutteral sounds the Germans make. Can totally do the German accent. There's also a recessive gene running around somewhere that occasionally gives a member of my family blue eyes, my sister got em.

    All I need to do is go out in the sun. I mean, come on, it's Texas. But I needed a swimsuit first, and after my breakdown, I had to readjust. I'll be going out in Missouri, but I likely won't get enough sun there. Then when we come back, it'll be a weekend. Maybe I'll get some sun then.

    Dude, I'll be this much closer to you!!! *motions 800 miles*
    You should totally visit me in St. Louis.
    You won't.
    Oh well, I'll still read your blog, because I love you.
    But that means you need to write.
    Or at least twitter.
    I'm a little hypomanic tonight, can you tell?
    Did you know I'm a little bipolar?
    It's 4am and I haven't slept yet.
    I'm worried my doc won't give me the week of meds I need to cover what I don't have
    I'm now talking about stuff that has nothing to do with your blog
    I think that's a sign I need to go
    I ♥ you
    Visit me
    This is awkward.
    See you on Twitter
    Auf Weidersehen (said in German accent)

    ~Ashley-visit my blog!~

  86. Kristine - Well if that sounds like your idea of a good time you are a stronger lady than I am. Cause it sounds like Medieval torture to me. But to each his own I suppose! :-D PS - thanks!
    Elliot MacLeod-Michael - I have no idea what you're talking about. Tell me, ELLIOT, were you trippin on some shrooms? Maybe droppin a little acid? Hm? Hm? I didn't see any of these 'giant pterodactyls' that you talk of. You do know that pterodactyls are extinct, right? You're a dope smoking hippy aren't you??
    ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - Okay girl, you need to take a big deep cleansing breath in. Hold it. Okay, let it out. Nice and slow. Mkuh.
    I'm German and Slavish. My dad is obviously German (blond and blue) and I look like him. For whatever reason my mom's genes only hit one of us (there are three of us). I don't know what makes me tan but I know if I get tan once it will last for months.
    Also, I googled St. Louis, and it is over 7 hours away from Columbus. So, you will be closer, but that isn't just a day trip there :-D If you were in Columbus I'd say, "Hellz ya let's hang out and make fun of stuff!" But we both know how I feel about long car rides.

  87. Ryan - Why thank you Ryan, but I am indeed not a 'bro'. I have a vag which I believe classifies me as a 'chick'.

  88. I cannot vouch for the fact that she is a chick, but I will say that she is, indeed, pretty awesome.

    Deep breaths do not make hypomania go away.

    I am again up at ungodly hours of the morning. However, my mood is more stable now than it was at that time of morning yesterday.

    7 hours is better than....a lot? I just looked. 18. Fuck, 18 fucking hours!! I can assure you, I will never drive that. I also know someone in Iowa who is trying to get me to meet them, and I'm like helllll you're gonna come to me, I'm already sacrificing a 12 hour trip there and back, woman!! lol....

    Deep breath.

    The German shows in the winter when I get deep white. Like I am now. It shows in my sister with the blue eyes. The Native American, since it's dominant, even though there's very little of it, like less than 1/8, shows in the dark hair/eyes. I have nice highlights though. I love the whole tanning well thing, but I turn into a ghost in the winter.

    It's been 103-105 in the daytime with heat index 105+. I can't wait to get out of Texas. *faint*

  89. ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - I assure you both, I am a chick.
    18 is a lot. I've done three and been okay, but that's my upper limit.
    I totally turn into a ghost in the winter time too. I don't get a whole lot of sun in general anyway so I'm mostly pale. I think I look way better with some tan but skin cancer runs in my family and I definitely don't want to look like a leather handbag when I'm 40. So I don't actively tan.
    It's 83 here and sunny. Ahhhhhh!

  90. That summed up Bonnaroo perfectly. Each year i went i always thought it would be better than the last year. I was always wrong.

  91. Sub-Radar-Mike - Hahahahah. What a brave soul, going more than once. I am glad that I went but I can tell you right now that I won't be going back.

  92. I found this post because I did a google image search for "Fart Knuckle" (in quotes).

    Don't judge me.

  93. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


Talk to the Cake Betch - I'll always respond. Unless you're a dick, then I'll just be mad.