Thursday, July 28, 2011

Overreactions Are Fun

First things first:

I'm sorry that it takes me so long to make these. I know some of you start getting antsy, but frankly I am a.) lazy, b.) actually working now, and c.) lazy and it takes me forever to get these done. You can expect one every.... iunno, two to three weeks. I have basically no inspiration and I have to wait for something stupid to happen before I can write about it. Quality over quantity. Well, somewhat quality.

This is a conversation I had two weeks ago with a guy from the vet hospital I take Kaiser to. The gist is that Kaiser needed to get his stomach tacked (i.e. a 'gastropexy') to help prevent death if he bloats, and I wanted to get his hips x-rayed because he seems to be standing weird and it's making me nervous. Large breed dogs can develop hip dysplasia right around a year and a half of age (which is what Kaiser is) and if you don't know anything about it let me just tell you that it's bad. And expensive. 

So, this is me calling up the hospital... beep boop beep boop beep.

Douchefuck: Blankity blank vet hospital?

Me: Hey, I have a Great Dane named Kaiser and I want to get him set up for an x-ray and/or orthopedic evaluation because he's been standing strangely. Also, I want to set up an appointment to get his stomach tacked. When I was there last time the doctor told me they can probably do an x-ray for his hips while he is in surgery for a stomach tacking?

Uh.... okay. You said gastropexy and neuter?

No, he's been neutered. I want to get his stomach tacked and his hips x-rayed because I'm concerned that he might have hip dysplasia. His trot and walk are fine, but he stands with his hips turned out at an awkward angle and I just want to get him checked to make sure nothing is going on.

Oh, okay, well most people get the gastropexy and the neuter at the same time.

He's already been neutered. A year ago.

Ah. Well you'll have to make two separate appointments because the soft tissue surgery and the orthopedics will require two separate appointments.

I had him in there about two weeks ago for eye surgery and the doctor told me they could probably do the gastropexy and then x-ray his hips while he was unconscious.

No, it'll require two separate appointments. The gastropexy we can do next week but the orthopedic is going to be out until.... August 4th. He'll also be here for three days.

I'm sorry, three days? Is that for the gastropexy or the x-ray...?

Yes, the gastropexy; all surgeries are typically three days, appointment the first day, surgery the next day, goes home the third day.

Huh, well I just had him in for eye surgery and he came home the same day?

Yeah, no, it's three days.

Okay, well that's fine. Can we set that up?

Sure.... okay, so the gastropexy and the neuter, we have July 25th available, 10:45am or 11:15am?

Just the gastropexy surgery. He was neutered last year. I'd like the 11:15am appointment please.

Okay. You're all set.

Can I also set up an appointment now to get an orthopedic evaluation? If it's not available until next month I'd like to just set it up now.

Yes, but that's not available until August 4th.

That's fine, lets go ahead and set it up now because I noticed the hip thing about two weeks ago and I want to get them checked out to make sure nothing is going on.

Okay, has he been to blankity blank hospital before? 

.....Yes, he was there two weeks ago for eye surgery.

Oh okay. What's your name?


What's your last name?


What's the dog's name?


Okay, we've got a 10:45 on August 3rd.

10:45 on August third? Because you said fourth a minute ago.

Yes, the third.

Okay, that's fine.

Okay, so he has an awkward gait you said?

No, his gait is fine. HE IS STANDING WEIRD.

Okay, so what's he doing? 

He just stopped and one of his legs was turned out. Since this is about the time when they start developing Hip Dysplasia, I want to get him looked at.

Okay. I'm assuming this is a big dog?


Yeah...... he could have Hip Dysplasia. Has anyone used that term with you yet?


Okay, I just want to make sure I'm writing this all down right. You know that's major surgery right? That's about a $4,000 surgery.


You thought I was going to shoot Kaiser at first, didn't you?


  1. Oh wow. They let the idiot out of pre-school early. I admire your patience at taking yourself out and not trying to fit into the phone instead...or driving to the vet to tell the receptionist that cabbage can open a can of whoopass on his IQ. (I shouldn't comment post wine. But it's too late.)

  2. You have way more patience than I could ever have.

  3. You know, I don't want to get all preachy, but he really should have been neutered by now. tsk.

  4. Man, what a gap in communication between the doctor and the front desk. Does he/she hire morons right out of moron school? When you go you should definitely tell the doc what a headache you had to go through.

  5. Your posts are worth waiting for, especially the graphics. I wonder how many deaths that buffoon on the phone (not you, the person you were talking with) is responsible for.

  6. Oh, gees. I'd be asking to speak with the vet and tell him / her how useless their front desk is. lol

  7. Are you sure you called the right place? I'm pretty sure after mentioning that you were bringing in a Great Dane, that dude should've known that it was a big dog.

    If it was me, I would've been such a smart ass. And to tell you one date, but gone ahead and scheduled you the date before hand, that's .. who hired him?

    Considering it's a vet office, did a monkey answer the phone? Oh wait, monkey's can't talk .. that, and the monkey would've done a hell of a job than this dumb ass.

  8. Christ on a Saltine, I think this person is too stupid to live.

  9. Oh. My. Gosh. I would've shot myself, too. What a moron! Do you know if it was a receptionist or one of the vets? If it was a receptionist, you should put in a complaint (a copy of this cartoon might work nicely). I worked at a vet's office for a while, and if someone told our boss we acted like this over the phone, we would've been kicked to the curb.

    The way you drew Kaiser in all of these made me laugh out loud. It was a nice change of pace from the pulse-elevating, teeth-gritting annoyance I felt toward the person on the other end of the phone.

  10. I would not be surprised walking in there if you were scheduled for a neutering and nothing else.

    I am guessing that the person? on the phone was not paying attention. Probably too busy writing their blog about how people don't neuter their dogs like they're supposed to.

  11. I totally thought you were going to shoot your dog.
    Guess you're a humanitarian after all. ;)

  12. Soooooooo feel your pain, completely.

  13. That? Was incredible. By the way, seriously, I could neuter your dog if you need me to. I mean he should really be neutered by now.

  14. Bourgeoise without the Bohemia - I'm pretty sure that commenting post-wine is the best time to comment. That's what I do, drink lots of wine. I mean, I do that anyway, but you know. Also, I was VERY good at being restrained, mostly because I was worried. Otherwise I probably would have hung up on the guy. It was RIDICULOUS.

    Oilfield Trash - It was kind of a one-time thing. I was worried about Kaiser at the time. If I had been in a hurry or busy or something I probably would have lost my shiz.

    Steam Me Up, Kid - Right? I'm such a bad owner. BTW THEY were the ones that did his neuter, and it was a big deal because one of his testicles never dropped so they had to go in and get it. FUN.

    Bouncin' Barb - I didn't say anything to the doctors about it, I figured it wouldn't make much difference since it's a teaching hospital. The receptionists kind of suck, but everyone else is really awesome. Since I take my dog there all the time and don't want to go anywhere else I probably won't make waves. That's the first REALLY dumb person I've spoken to there though. - Aww thanks missy :-) And who KNOWS, if this moron works there full time I bet he is inspiring a lot of angry emails (which is initially what this started out as, a complaining letter to Justin). I really hope that no one is actually blowing their head off after talking to this idiot. Hahaha.

    M Pax - I don't even really know who I would tell. There are so many doctors and students there I'm not sure who is in charge. It was rather ridiculous. If it happens again I'll probably say something to someone about it.

    nikki - I have a feeling the monkey would have done a better job. And that conversation is really not an exaggeration, that's what was said for the most part. I honestly kept repeating that stuff and he just wasn't getting it. WTF dude, seriously.

    greengeekgirl- LOL yet somehow he is doing it!! He's still living and breathing and holding down a job! I've never talked to him before that day (and I've called there A LOT) so maybe it was his first day. I kind of doubt it, but maybe.

    Kimberly - Thanks! I drew him once and then just flipped him all over the screen (cause I'm LAZY). Besides, he pretty much only has one look (a blank one) so it's fitting anyway. I'm guessing that I was speaking with a receptionist, the vets are always busy, and he was the first person to answer. This is a huge place though. I DO remember the guy's name though, so I could always call them back and ask them if I can send them a link to this blog :-D

    Leauxra - I would HOPE that wasn't paying attention, because if he was there is seriously something wrong with him. He needs to drink some coffee, or take some association/communication classes. How did anyone think he was ready to answer the phone?? And yeah, I was concerned that I was going to get a call asking why I would schedule a neuter when he has no testicles but apparently he did get the gastropexy in correctly.

    Lemons Don't Make Lemonade - Oh yeah! That's me! World class humanitarian right here *points finger in nose*

  15. Goofy Girl - Pets are sooooo much fun. Actually, pets AND talking on the phone. I hate talking on the phone.

    Gwen - I don't think that I want you to neuter him. I mean, there's really not much left to remove. He's got a little of that residual scrote left over, but I think that's okay. I think poor guy has been through enough back alley operations over the last year and a half.

  16. This post just neutered my desire to get a dog.... having to deal with people like that? I hope your dog takes a crap in their lobby!

  17. Wooooooooooooooooooooooow. I would just go there in person and demand to talk to the vet. Egads.

  18. Lmao!!! Tara I love this post and feel bad you have to put up with such incompetence. I think I lold like ten times. You have to be patient w my cousin jimmy when u go in for the surgery. Remember he's legally blind in one eye which affects his hearing and memory too.

  19. It's spelled gait, dumbass.

  20. Don't you just love people like that? Those conversations want to make me kill them, then myself.

  21. How in the fuck did you end up with a name like Brewster Brewster? I could have sworn you had a more normal first name. Also, in all seriousness you should really get your dog neutered. I can't believe he didn't tell you that when he was explaining to you about hip dysplasia. Also a person, not a dog, wrote the blog you have linked at the top. I think I should know because it was me. I find your suggestion that a dog wrote it to be RIDICULOUS.

  22. Thanks for the early morning asthma attack, which I have not experienced in quite some time while reading something.

    This was so incredibly funny that it reminds me what I have to go through on a weekly/semi-mothly basis whenever I have to deal with a guv'ment agency (I work for the guv'ment).

  23. I love how your face gets angrier and angrier. My stomach was tensing up on your behalf! And I think I'm in love with Kaiser. Even if he does need to have his hips neutered and his eyes x-rayed.

    (By the by, I hope that his hips are ok. As a fellow big-dawg-owner - well not as big as yours, but whatever - I know that I'm always watching his haunches obsessively to see if they look...weird. Here's hoping your Kaiser's x-rays don't show anything. Well, except perfect hips, of course.)

  24. It's amazing how often these conversations take place!

    Love how you offed yourself in frustration. I mean, it's wrong, yeah, sure, but funny?! Yes.

    Had a similar conversation with Comcast when my cable went out. After holding for 50 minutes and then speaking to someone for 10 they asked me if I had cable with them. Had we or had we not been talking about the fact that my screen had frozen an hour ago?!


  25. Oh and "Douchefuck" -Yessss!!! Awesome!! Please don't tell me that OSU is where all this incompetence is happening. Giving a bad name to what I have regarded as one of the premier institutions in the nation.

    I'd really like to offer you help, as I know this girl who happens to be one of the best vets I know. Unfortunately it would be way out of your way(at least a 40-45 min drive) so that is out. Of course it may be the best veterinary hosiptal in town, maybe this guy was just a world class d-bag. Sorry

    My advice would be to find out when you go in there if this guy is still working front desk/phones. Then do a major mindfuck on him, saying you talked to Doctor X specifically and he said he would do the surgery and x-rays on the same day. And he also said Kaiser would only have to be there for two days at most. Then insist this was the way it went down, and you're not leaving Kaiser there until you see the vet. And, as you're leaving, look at Kaiser and tell him "I know, I know, but he's not the one performing the surgery (as you're pointing at the receptionist). You'll be fine I promise." Then walk away.

  26. haha! what a fucking idiot.

    i hope kaiser's okay, especially when you get him neutered.

  27. Hmmm... I recently had a similar experience with my cable company. Not that my tv needed to be neutered or anything like that. Just an insane conversation that on like and endless loop. I'm not sure how many times I have to say "I want to cancel" service before they actually do anything. Apparently 37 times will suffice.

  28. Steve Bailey - OMG that would be so embarrassing. You have no idea. Kaiser doesn’t just take craps, he takes DUMPS. And they are massive. And usually liquidy and super horribly stinky. As irritating as the phone conversation was, I would not wish a Kaiser dump on the interior of their building.
    Haven - There are so many people and vets there that it just wouldn’t be worth the time or effort. Everyone else that works there is really great, this guy is totally an anomaly, so I wasn’t going to get too bent out of shape about the whole thing. I’m just going to blog about it. Lol.
    jarrod877 - I’m glad you liked it! And I think I WAS patient with this guy, but I’m sure he wasn’t your cousin :-D
    Mike - I hate you with the power of a thousand burning sunz Michael. I did fix the spelling, but fuuuuuuuuuuuuck yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
    Riot Kitty - If you kill them though then you can save yourself the trouble of having to kill yourself. It just seems like the easier thing to do; obviously I had only myself and Kaiser to take out my frustration on so I was kind of at a loss. I should have just gone and hit some people with my car.
    Elliot MacLeod-Michael - My parents were a little dyslexic, giving me two of the same names as a first and last. I’m so tired of explaining it. Oh wait, no, my first name is Tara. Never mind about that whole last part. And it was NOT a suggestion that Kaiser wrote it (because Kaiser is not nearly as talented and licks his butthole WAY more than you do), but merely a funny picture to act as a segue to lead people to your hilarious blog.
    G - Oh goodness, well obviously you made it through the attack and are still alive so that is good. I’m sorry for the attack but I am glad that you did not enter the big sleep because of me. And I totally understand what you mean about the guv’ment, cause I worked for the guv’ment for two years. And it was really, really, really, really, really terrible. I mean, bad. I’m glad I don’t work there anymore because it was frustrating as hell.

  29. Stephanie - My face WAS getting angrier and angrier! Haha! I kept my tone fairly controlled until the end when I started getting irritated but I was good. After I hung up the phone I immediately began typing up the conversation and after it was over I was like, “BINGO! New blog!” I sent it to Justin and he was like, “That made me angry just to read it.” And Kaiser loves you too, not in a bestiality kind of way, but in the way that only a really stupid dog can love everyone and everything. Hopefully his hips are okay; we’ll find out next week. I’m concerned because he is standing with his hips out at weird angles, but maybe it’s just because he’s dumb. Let’s hope that’s the case, because I definitely do not have $4k to spend on surgery right now.
    Pearl - It’s like every day when you have to answer phones, which is another reason why I left my old job, because I fucking haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate talking to people on the phone!! Shit like this happens. The cable companies are TERRIBLE too, I’ve been put on hold for that long before! My mom was on hold with Time Warner for 70 minutes a few nights ago trying to fix the work router. WTF??
    jarrod877 - Douchefuck! Woot! And yes, it was OSU. I didn’t mean to put it out there (because I wrote “blankity blank vet hospital” in the beginning) but then forgot to take it out towards the end. I really love OSU and everyone there is really awesome, this was the first stupid encounter I’ve had. I didn’t want to trash them all over the internet because a.) I want to continue to take Kaiser there and b.) I think they’re a really great hospital. Sometimes you just deal with people that don’t care. I was taking him to a vet in Lancaster because my girlfriend worked there and I trusted her judgment but now that I take him to OSU I’m pretty sure that’s where we’ll go all the time unless it’s just for minor shots or something. Kaiser did go in for surgery on Monday and I didn’t get him back until Wednesday, so I guess dude was right. I’m SURE he didn’t perform the surgery. I didn’t even talk to him when I went in (I haven’t seen him in person ever) or else I probably would have felt uncomfortable. Haha!
    Henrietta Collins (aka Kage) - Right? And yeah, he was fine when he got neutered. LAST YEAR! Lol.
    Angela@BeggingTheAnswer - I think they do that to you to keep you from canceling. They think that maybe if they’re irritating enough and give you the run around enough you will get frustrated and hang up and not end up canceling. When I canceled my cable two years ago I was on the phone for like 30 minutes. They offered all KINDS of deals, and I talked to like four different people. It was infuriating. Finally I just made my boyfriend call and deal with them.

  30. phones should be like cars, people should need licenses to operate them, and you could have different classes, like how you need a different class license to drive a semi, you need a better license to do customer service

  31. j. littlejohn - THAT IS AN AWESOME IDEA!!! Seriously. I would purposely make it so that I was unable to use the phone. I really, really hate talking on the phone.

  32. I love this post. I thought I was the only one that wore my dog as a hat.

    Ah, the vet. Some of them are great, and some of them are just terrible. Last time I went I felt like I was at a bad car dealership where they were trying to sell me every pointless upgrade to rip me off.

    I had called and scheduled my 4 dogs to come in and get their standards vaccinations, which was going to be about $100 total.

    When I went in, they got out this HUGE list of completely useless vaccines that was a page and a half long. "Yeah, see, this shot is good if they ever eat trash. Do they eat trash?" - No, who the fuck lets their dogs eat trash? "This vaccine is good if they're ever near coyotes. Are they ever near coyotes?" - Well, yes, when I let them run carelessly off into an empty field, but don't worry, they wear condoms.

    With all of these (they had automatically selected them for us, how kind, right?), the projected bill was over $2000. For shots.

    I stopped them in mid sentence while they were explaining these stupid things and told them, "I'm not telling you 'no' to every single one of these. I do not want you to read them to me. I want to get the shots that I was quoted for, and those only."

    Which is a shame, because since then my dog got into the trash and was raped by a coyote.

  33. A Beer for the Shower - This place is normally really great, it was just this one incident that was making me feel stabby. I have never encountered a vet asking if I want $2k in shots (WTF SERIOUSLY?). However there was one vet I would go to that was super expensive and every time I would go in someone would ask me if I had signed up for pet insurance yet. Every single time. I would tell them I wasn't interested and that I was just going to set money aside instead (because it worked out that you had to spend over $9k before you were getting more money back then you put in) and they'd still ask me. Finally I left that place because I couldn't handle the swindle anymore.
    Sorry to hear that your dog ate trash and then was raped by a coyote. Them's the breaks though if you're not going to pay $2,000 to give them shots.

  34. Thank God I had your amazeballs pics to distract me ("amazeballs" is my new favorite word which means I must drop it into all of my convos even if it doesn't make sense), because I was about to lose it on that guy. Sounds to me like Douchefuck needs to be neutered.

    ps. Amazeballs.

  35. justmakingconvo - I JUST heard amazeballs like two weeks ago and it's been popping up in my conversations fairly regularly. I'm trying not to overuse it so that I can continue to use it for a while. I think it makes tons of sense too.... it's amazeballs, what's confusing about that? And yeah, that douchefuck needs to have his boringballs removed, and then convert them to amazeballs.

  36. Oh,and I know how phone calls can be sometimes. But this blog just reminded me today of the time when Justin and I used to prank call random people while at work while waiting for FedEx(we called JCPenny's, and CD 101 among others). Not sure why I thought of that but it's funny. You'll have to remind me to tell you over beers sometimes. Or you can have Justin tell you and spoil the fun for me.

  37. OH MAN! I'm sorry tou had to go through that, but this was the funniest thing and best ending (not you shooting yourself, but the leading up to it) I've seen in a long time. Oh yeah, since your last post. You are the best!
    Hang in there! I hope your dog is okay (what's his name again?)

  38. I hope no one thinks that with my last comment I approve of this douchebag's incompetence. But the places we called were all in good fun (we had no malicious intent) and the worst that happened is the people on the other end of the line hung up confused more than anything else. Probably didn't want to shoot themselves like you wish you had at the end of this blog. Lol

  39. It must have taken you a long time to train your dog to walk on the ceiling like that... You know, with real life being like that, how could anybody ever need to make up fiction?

    ツ my cyber house rules dot com

  40. jarrod877 - I doubt anyone thinks that. i think I've heard some stories before, because that's basically all Justin is good for, telling stories. :-)

    Pat Tillet - Awww... you're so sweet Pat. I'm glad you thought it was funny :-)And his name is about to be Meat.

    Nikki Rules - I know, right? I think that if anyone could actually walk on the ceiling it would be Kaiser. He's so stupid that the laws of physics could possibly be suspended because he doesn't know any better.

    Laughing Vault - Don't we all. Don't we ALL.

  41. I feel your pain. I have many times been through very similar conversations with many different places of business. I now dread trying to deal with people on the phone. They just DON'T listen to what you are saying.

  42. Jackie - Don't you hate that? I hate talking on the phone. I mean, I really hate it. I went back to school because I didn't want to use the phone anymore. I wish people would just... email or text or something. :-D

  43. OMG you're so fucking funny! You need to take this show on the road. I know these take a lot of thought and time, but my goodness you are worth the wait.
    However, in response to the issue, I suspect the receptionist was blogging while she was on the phone with you. That's how I deal with everyone in my household.

  44. Sandra - Awww thanks darlin'! <3 And even if he was blogging, which I doubt because I don't know how he would be able to blog at a medical hospital this large with that many people around, but if he was, wtf? I didn't deserve that! I'm a customer and I can convey information like a sane adult, there was no reason for him to completely ignore everything that I was saying.

  45. Dear sweet baby Jesus, this made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I am subscribing.

  46. I giggled the whole way through this post.

  47. This person was probably "busy" (or pretending to be) the whole time they were on the phone. Some people just cannot multitask as well as others. Tragic, really.

    I don't mind people trashing OSU, as long as it's the one in Oklahoma. Oklahoma State University sucks....(by the way, have you heard this?: Why doesn't Texas float off into the Gulf? Because Oklahoma sucks!!). That's our general view of Oklahoma. When you said OSU I completely forgot for about 5 minutes that you live in a state that also starts with an O. Then I was like "oh, maybe it's not so ok."

    It's idiots like this in customer service that give customer service a bad name. When I was in customer service, I'd have people ask me if I was competent enough to understand them. I'd get so irritated sometimes that I'd want to be incompetent just to get on their nerves. Unfortunately, I don't know how to be incompetent...if that makes any sense. It would irritate me that people would assume that I was an idiot just because I worked in customer service, though. Sometimes smart people have to work menial jobs...and sometimes dumb people get those jobs because the smart people don't want to work those jobs because of the bad rep the dumb people give them.

    And I hate when they give you the go-around on the phone after you've already explained yourself 10 times. What's worse is when they ask you, at the end, to give them a good rating on whatever survey comes in the email or over the phone because they satisfactorily answered your question or whatever. I'm like...sure. Whatever. Then, if I get a survey, I answer it honestly, but only if I get service that is either a) markedly superior or b) markedly inferior.

    Please don't shoot yourself. I would miss you. And your blogs. Sorry I didn't respond until now. I've been wrapped up in school...I've been writing, but not reading, blogs. My reader is full of unread blogs, I'm hitting my head on my keyboard in frustration. If it helps, you're the first one I read when I woke up after getting home from my final final (after a 4 day wake because I was so anxious and nervous that I couldn't sleep, even on medication...even heavily sedated...)..Yea, after mid-June, things started falling apart- I got terminated from my internship, our hot water heater flooded our house, I had to go back to a 5-week class (but it was a kick-ass class), and I was so busy and stressed that everything fell to the wayside.

    I laughed until you died. Then I cried. Then I needed my inhaler because I had laughed so hard. definitely the comic relief I needed after the world tried to flip me the bird this morning! (lost car keys, forgot wallet, car wreck, stuck in traffic, etc...)

    I missed you! It's been a long time. I'm glad to finally be able to breathe again....

    * Perpetually Me *

    PS People that creep blogs just to correct spelling are annoying....and should find somewhere else to creep. Argh. I may spell things right, but I don't correct people and I actually read and put content in my comments, rather than just correct a word and go somewhere else. *Choosing not to use choice words*

  48. HAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-- I have so missed you--I haven't been around much! My Bad!

    Love ya,


  49. Luda - Awww I'm glad it made you laugh :-D Welcome aboard the crazy psycho train!

    Laura Greene - Yaaay! :-D Thanks!

    ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - He was a dude so he probably can't multitask :-D But yeah, customer service is pretty much the worst there is. Sometimes I can do it, but I have to turn it on and I have to be in the mood to deal with people. If I'm not in the right mood it's torture to have to pretend to be chipper and friendly and fake. I did customer service for a really long time and I would be fine with never doing it again.

    And don't feel bad about not making it over here until now. I am in the same boat. I actually am working at my job now (vs reading blogs) and I'm SUPER far behind. I have so much stuff to get done and I've just kind of checked out. I try to get through a blog or two a day but I have over 1,000 unread blogs and I'm never going to be able to read all of them because they're just going to keep multiplying. I remember reading about all your shiz (and getting terminated - I know you were upset and that blows). But don't worry I'm not really going to kill myself.

    And Mike wasn't actually creeping my blog to correct my spelling, he's my middle sister's boyfriend. We have a hate-each-other relationship and he claims that he doesn't read my blog because he hates me but obviously he does :-)

    John McElveen - I've missed you too John, but it's okay and I totally understand. I have been reading like zero blogs and I'm a big asshole. Actually I'm not trying to be one, I just am :-(

  50. You're not an asshole. Totally get where you're coming from. I look at all the blogs in my reader and go...oh shit...and each time I think I'm finished just for that day, not even going back to the past ones, more pop up. It's a vicious cycle.

    Totally get the hate relationship thing.

    And my family reads my blog, and I know they do, but they never leave comments, or say anything about it. Totally creepy.

    I don't mind working with people. In fact, my degree (omg I'm getting it, can't believe it) kind of centers around working with people. I'm very tolerant, and very patient if working with people that rub me the wrong way. I might be screaming in my head but I'll just smile and do what I need to do, but generally, I get along with people. I'm an understanding person for the most part. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing. You know, social work. Working with the people who need help.

    Now I have a long break (and this really blows, because the other intern that didn't get terminated has job offers at the agency), no job leads, so time to break into resume writing and applications, studying for my licensing exam, and preparing for my room for re-carpeting. And it'll be an undeterminably long break because I don't know when/if I'll get a job.

    I hope everything was ok with Kaiser- never could tell from the comments! And I hope things get better with work and whatnot. I've been blogging a lot (it's about the only thing I've done besides school because I type quickly!)...and I've gotten your comments. Thanks :) and it's still nice to catch you every once in a while.


  51. I think it's time to write an angry letter.'s okay, you can cry...
    *Strokes your hair lovingly*

  52. Amazing! I was on a similar call recently and had to pause to yell in fake Chinese every 3rd or 4th exchange. You have style, my dear.

  53. ♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - I generally am pretty good with people too, but I would DEFINITELY not want to be in social work. I can deal with people well when I HAVE to. I don't want to interact with people I don't know all day. God that sounds terrible. Customer Service is just not my gig.

    Kaiser's stomach tacking went fine. His orthopedic exam resulted in what could possibly be the beginnings of hip dysplasia (his right hip has some tenderness to it) but they said they'd just have to wait and see how things pan out.

    Congrats on the degree lady!!! :-D

    Chelsey - *Curls up and whimpers until she falls asleep*
    NORMALLY this vet is really awesome. I just was really pissed off about the phone call and needed blog fodder and here we are!

    veggiemacabre - Hahahaha I love that you say you HAD to pause to yell in 'fake Chinese.' What the fucking fuck is fake Chinese?? Why did you have to yell in it?? I'm so confused and LOLing.

  54. would you like neutering with that ????lol reminded me of macdonalds ...

  55. IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY - I know right?? It's like 'the package surgery deal'! Buy one surgery, get another half off!

  56. you're having great summer? arent you? :D

  57. Laughing Vault - Meh, I wouldn't say that I'm having a great summer. I'm glad to not be in school right now but it has been extremely busy and stressful. If you're saying that because I haven't posted anything in like 25490354 years, that's just cause I have no inspiration.

  58. Oh man, who's going to take poor Kaiser to the vet to get neutered (again) and deal with the uberdouche now that you are without a head?

    It almost felt bad to laugh at this. Almost, but not quite.

    You are hilar. The end.

  59. find a new vet. one that doesn't hire fucktards. thanks for the morning laugh. proof that stupidity should fucking hurt.

  60. Biz - Who knows, don't you think that's going to be a super difficult surgery? Removing balls that aren't even there? Hearts! <3

    C@r!ie - This vet is normally top knotch, it was just the guy that happened to answer the phone that day. And I think that it's the opposite, I don't know too many really stupid people with many problems.

  61. Dying over here. Just found you. Why did I only now just find you? My life has been incomplete.

    And what the hell kind of crack was that guy on who answered the phone at the vet's ofice? Did you dial an effing florist by mistake? Maybe it was the vet's and he was the guy who cleans the errant pees and poos off the waiting room floor.

    Hope your friend's leg is getting better.

  62. Wombat Central - I have no idea how you found me, but I am SURE your life was complete before you found me, just not as awesomesauce. I will take the awesomesauce answer.

    I have no idea. It was out of control ridiculous and I have never talked to him before or since, so I gotta imagine that he already wasn't the most popular guy at the clinic.

    His leg is doing better, he's healing up, but he has to go in for a bone graft surgery and then it will be another 6 weeks minimum of bed rest. Kinda sucky for a dude that makes a living on his feet.

  63. Back for more to tell you I gave you an award on my blog today. I know--it's like handing someone a hot potato grenade or something, but there it is.

  64. Wombat Central - I love dead hookers!!! I mean.... blog awards!

  65. This is my first time here--I so love your doggie's positions throughout the post :D Hope his neutering went well ;)

    Off to poke around...

  66. TriGirl - Thanks for stopping by! And yes his neutering went well, no babies for Kaiser :-D Lord knows one Kaiser is more than enough for this world.

  67. Hahaha dogs are always such attention whores. He has no idea the trouble he's causing..

  68. Gia - He is definitely an attention whore. I'm pretty sure he thinks that everyone exists to love and appreciate him.

  69. Gia - Yeah, pretty much. He gets compliments every where we go.

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  71. Oh my gosh!! Why did you kill yourself! You should have killed HIM! lol :) Love your blog btw...just ran across it! :))

  72. Alejandra - I did (sort of, at the end, the gun falls and you're supposed to assume Kaiser gets his in the end. Lol). Thanks for coming, but I haven't updated this thing in almost a year :-/ Maybe someday.

  73. Came across this while searching for the word "gastroplexy." After my Dane boy Goblin had emergency torsion surgery and a gastroplexy last night, and I had a hellish time getting him to the vet, this was a sorely needed laugh. Even a year old, it's awesome. Thanks!

  74. Yvonne - Uuuugggg sorry to hear that! But I'm glad he's okay! We went through so much with Kaiser in the first year I just went ahead and did the surgery because if it was possible for him to get it, he was going to get it. Sidenote however: he doesn't have hip displaysia, yaaaaay. I'm glad I made you laugh though :D Tell Goblin that Kaiser sends his doggy fist bump.


Talk to the Cake Betch - I'll always respond. Unless you're a dick, then I'll just be mad.