Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Why I'm not a Veterinarian

When I was growing up I always thought I'd be one of two things: an artist or a veterinarian.


 I realized soon enough that I was not in fact going to sell pictures of ninja turtles any time soon so shortly after I turned 16 I decided to look into becoming a vet. My dad, who always encourages these kinds of endeavors, knew someone that worked in a vet's office and asked if I could come in for the day and shadow her and see what it was all about. I was thrilled!

It was one of the worst days of my life.

First of all, the nice lady that my dad knew was not there the day I came in. She also didn't really fill anyone else in on the fact that I would be there, so I showed up like a noob and was basically shlepped off  on a bunch of busy, irritated, not-so-friendly vets and vet techs. Not a good start to the day.

I sat on a bench with my thumb up my ass in the back for over an hour before someone decided to take pity on me and show me around. I tried to be as cheery sunshine as fucking possible, hoping someone would take me under their wing so I wouldn't feel like such an idiot.

One doctor said I could sit in while he did a spay on a puppy. A spay? Sure! How bad can it be?


Let me tell you how a spay is performed. Better yet, let me tell you how a spay WAS performed, at THIS vet clinic. It was a small poodle, maybe five months old, and she was already unconscious on the table. Quite without warning the doctor just grabs a scalpel and slits her little belly open.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Okay, we're cool, we're cool. Don't freak out.

The good fellow then proceeds to get what appears to be a small silver hook and jab it repeatedly in and out of the dog's belly, attempting to pull her ovaries out through the gap. This took a good fifteen minutes of digging and pulling, then pushing innards back in until the prize was found.

Honestly I do not remember where the procedure went from there because there is only so much dog intestine being yanked out with a hook I can handle before my brain shuts down. The next thing I remember was him sewing the dog back up and sending me on my way back to the bench.

More sitting.

Time to see how a cat gets de-clawed. You know how that's done?

Pretty much all they do is knock the cat out and then take a razor blade to it's claws. PARTY PARTY PARTY FUN FUN FUN.

Then there's a sort of rush. Someone asks me if I want to come stand watch them catheterize  a cat. Sure! Haha! What's 'catheterize' mean?

But here's the best part. No only was this a male cat, this cat was dying. He was dying in front of my eyes. I didn't realize it at first, he jut seemed really fucking out of it.





There were like four people around this bloated thing trying to get the catheter into poor Mr. Kitty and having a lot of difficulty. Thankfully the old sack didn't seem to notice cause he was so far gone. I don't remember the context of the situation but he had crystals in his urine which had blocked up his urethra and now he was dying because he was being poisoned by his own piss.

Awesome way to go, right??

So she's fighting and cursing and roughing this animal around and that's when she says he's dying and I realize what's happening and I start to really lose it. She's got the catheter in and is squeezing some bloody urine down the table into a gutter, but apparently the catheter wasn't working to her satisfaction.

So I'm standing there freaking out at the end of the table watching all this go down and suddenly the doctor decides that this catheter isn't going to work and yanks it out. Not removed it, yanked it. And you know what happened when she did that? It whiplashed towards me and SPLATTERED MY FACE WITH BLOODY CAT URINE.

I don't know how I did it but I managed to stand there while they euthanized the cat. Then I excused myself to the bathroom and sat on the toilet for 20 minutes because I couldn't see straight. I have never passed out before in my life but everything was going black and white and the room was spinning. I couldn't stand up. I didn't know what to do.

When I finally got up the balls to return to the little veterinarian's office of horrors they told me that there wasn't really anything else they could show me today and I'm sure you can imagine that was totally fine with me. They asked me to wait a few minutes though.

The receptionist gruffly took me into a back room and told me that they'd pay me $5 and some change an hour if I wanted to work in the kennels cleaning dog and cat poop and giving meds and water and food. I managed to stand upright while I politely told her I would consider her offer.

I then left the building, tossed my cookies in the parking lot beside my car, and drove home knowing that I would never become a veterinarian. I never called them back about their stupid job, either.

108 comments:

  1. I worked at a vet clinic for a whole summer between 9th and 10th grade. It was the worst 2 months of my life and I'll never forget the horrors I lived and breathed that summer.

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  2. Does your puke have sperm in it? I hope not. I think I see a couple swimmers though.

    That sounds brutal. I know I have a friend who refused to become a veterinarian because the test at his school required him to euthanize a purrrfectly (in bad taste?) healthy cat, to A) test his skill at the procedure and B) demonstrate emotional detachment to his 'patients'. He refused, and now he works at Home Depot. I don't blame him, though.

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  3. Jen O. - Yea. Not really what I had pictured. It was enough to send me packing from that industry though.
    A Beer for the Shower - Nope, no sperm, unless someone slipped it. It's supposed to be Mexican food (cause I totally stole the head and puke from my Tequila post).
    And OH HELL NO. Hell no I would not euthanize an animal. Ug, that makes me shiver.

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  4. Sounds like a hellish experience. Certainly not the way to ease into it.

    I think you just have to be a certain type of person to do that line of work. One of my "friends" is a vet tech, and she has a jar of cat testicles that she's collected after each neutering. I mean, who does that?

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  5. TS Hendrik OMFG I DO NOT KNOW. I would run like hell from this friend, especially since you're a male. Whatever you do, do not piss her off.

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  6. And here I thought my vasectomy was painful. Ouch.

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  7. i just about barfed reading this post. specifically when the catheter was yanked out of the cat and you were sprayed with bloddy urine. seriously, typing this makes me want to vom.

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  8. Oilfield Trash - Haha! I loved that post! That's what got me on your blog bandwagon.
    Kristin - I know how you feel. I don't know how I was able to keep it together. I'm pretty sure I just died inside and therefore was unable to have a reaction except for passing out.

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  9. your life is kewl.

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  10. i always wondered what they did to my dog back there that made him hate going to the vet. traumatized for life he is...i swear it.

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  11. I thought this posts title was "why I'm not a vegetarian" and then thought "well duh! 'cause vegetables don't taste like steak!" .... oh man... who knew I'd be snarfing my drink again? Seriously, I should, since history repeats itself every.damn. time I read your blog. You'd think I'd learn... but no. Thank you for almost killing me and my laptop yet again. ♥

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  12. The illustrations rocked on this one!! Good thing you didn't tell your dad that you wanted to be a mortician! Still very cool that you were mature enough to make it through the day - I would have run for my life at that age!

    I wanted to be an artist or a psychiatrist - until I found out that you had to go to med school and dissect bodies. Still working on what I'm gonna be when I grow up - which isn't likely.

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  13. Anon - Iknoright? Bloody piss face. Awesome to the max.
    Miss Tsa - Your dog is traumatized because he is smart. Mine is an idiot and no matter what they've done to him at the vet he still loves to go. Well, not to the vet I wrote about.
    GoofyGirl - I totally hearts you Goofy but I will not be liable should you finally ruin the damn thing. I would post a warning at the top for you but I'm afraid others would think I'm a terrible narcissist.

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  14. laughingmon - You snuck in there while I was replying to the last comment. Thanks though! And I stayed because I didn't know what else to do, I probably should have just left after the spay thing. I didn't want to disappoint my parents.
    There is no way in hell I could do anything medical. Blood freaks me out and I'm pretty sure I would die if I had to witness or dissect a human body. I'm perfectly okay letting others handle that.

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  15. Yeah.... I would not be able to handle that now, let alone at 17... no wonder my doggies get nervous. Actually, they're perfectly happy in the waiting room- all those people and animals to sniff... but as soon as we go into the exam room it's tail between the legs and uncontrollable shaking. Must be some sort of Canine ESP.

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  16. I'm so very surprised that the bloody urine didn't win you over.

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  17. Holy moly.....the next time my 10 year old tells me he wants to be a Vet, I'm just going to have him read your blog. Ew.

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  18. This post was funny. I realize that. Except that it kind of made me want to cry. Those poor animals. That poor young girl (that would be you). I can't imagine. I don't even WANT to imagine.

    Your illustration of the demonic vet was AWESOME! Great pictures today!

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  19. Maggie - Oh I'm sure they remember something not-fun taking place at the vet. Kaiser loves to go, he doesn't care.
    NIcole - Surprising, I know. And usually bloody urine on my face is a turn on. Whodathunkit?
    Jotter Girl - You need a strong stomach, I'll tell you that. Not my field for sure.
    Stephanie - I know, I actually had to redraw the black cat because the first version I drew looked too sad and it made me feel weepy. Lol, I'm such a baby.

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  20. I almost wish I didn't read this but I like your blog so I had to. I'm so sad now that these things happen in Vets offices. It's very bad. Sorry you had to endure that.

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  21. Bouncin' Barb - Should I put a warning at the top? I thought I kept it fairly clean. It could have been a lot more graphic.
    I hate that this happens in vets offices too, but there are good vets out there. Just gotta be careful who you go to. You could tell walking in the door that this place wasn't the cream of the crop.

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  22. Do you know what I did all day today? Write decline letters to people I didn't hire. All fucking day long. But what did I get to come home to? A new CB blog! I love you for this.

    Btw - I should tell you sometime about my days watching pigs get castrated. Good times.

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  23. Just reading this almost makes me lose my food. Poor you. That sounds utterly traumatizing.
    xoRobyn

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  24. iambmac - Yay! I heart you bmac. I think I tell you that every time. And yes, I definitely want to hear your pig castration stories. Perhaps over some Ray Ray's? Haha
    Rawnkrobyn - It was a little disturbing to say the least. It turned into decent comedy material though. So I guess that's good.

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  25. Jesus H. I'm sorry that was so horrific for you but it just made me almost piss my pants. So? Totally worth it in my book.

    I too wanted to be a vet. Play with cute cuddly furry little love muffins all day! Make them healthy! They would love me! I'd be the next Doctor fucking Doolittle. And then I realized that vets have to give shots, which at the time seemed 100x worse then spaying/declawing/etc. That alone did it for me. Thankfully.

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  26. OMG this made me laugh so hard. I love this blog and I love you too!

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  27. This post made me SO sad. I used to ALWAYS want to be a veterinarian, too. And I thought I could handle it. But after you describing the day's events, I just wouldn't want to see any animals in pain or discomfort...or dying. Poor little cat with catheter.

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  28. OMG. That sounds .... excuse me while I go yak now.

    But don't laugh...I saw the headline out of the corner of my eye and thought it said "vegetarian." I read the entire post and wondered, "What does this have to do with being vegetarian?" before I came out of my allergy-medicine induced haze and re-read it.

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  29. Did you know it is harder to become a veterinarian than a normal, human doctor? I knew a girl who wanted to get into vet school and going to regular medical school was her back-up. I don't understand why anyone would go through so much hard work and schooling to do this kind of work.

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  30. Haha... makes you want to be a teen all over again and job shadow again and again.

    Not.

    Sweet story though! ;)

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  31. Well there goes my dream of becoming a vet...I adore animals, I think I might just stab the teacher if he told me to kill a healthy animal. (I shouldn't get expelled for that, right? I mean people have done a lot worse...)

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  32. Liz - Yeah, see that's what I was expecting, the cute cuddly fuzzy lovey part. I'm such an idiot. I totally didn't think about the blood, guts, suffering and death. Definitely not something I want to do.
    thekeithmiles - I love you too :-) Bryant told me you were reading it and giggling and I was all warm and fuzzy about it. Haha!
    ShanimalsCrackers - I think it takes a special kind of person to do that, one who loves and cares about the animals but can be detached when it comes to them being in pain or hurt or whatever. I am too big of a baby. I worry about my dog on almost a daily basis and if he's ever hurt I freak out. I couldn't be a vet.
    Riot Kitty - Don't feel bad, Goofy Girl said the same thing. The words look totally similar. Besides, allergy medicine haze is fun. Cheap high.
    Rachel - No I did not know that, that's actually kind of frightening. And I don't really know why either (or why people would want to be Engineers for that matter) but I'm glad someone does it because we need them.
    Marr Bulls - I know, jesus. So glad I'm not a teenager anymore. I still have to do that job shadowing bullshit though because I'm back in college. FML.
    Chelsey - Probably, but I think I'd probably refrain from stabbing. Maybe just puke on them, or wipe your nose on their sleeve. It'll get the message across and they can't sue .... or die on you.

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  33. I have to come back to read this, I'm on my way out the door, but I wanted to tell you I gave you a shout out!

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  34. This is one of the most horrific stories I've ever read. I don't know how you can take Kaiser to a vet after reading this.

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  35. OMG that was so funny..traumatic from your end but hilarious this end. Reminds me of nursing school my first time in theatre was a hip replacement, when they got out the power tools I almost made a run for it!!

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  36. I just laughed sooooo hard! I'm your newest follower, btw. :)

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  37. Oh, I wouldn't have made it through the day! I'm not a wimp, but I get so emotional around sad animals!

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  38. Sandra - I just saw it! <3 <3 You're too cute. I could do a drawing tutorial like A Beer for the Shower did but ya'll will laugh.
    J-Bird - Honestly, I love it. I feel like I'm paying him back for all the times he's a little shithead (read: more often than not). I get this sick twinge of happiness every time I see him being led away. Bye Kaiser! Bye! Enjoy yourself!
    IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY - OMFG I would pass out. Absolutely I would pass out. Ug. I'm shivering just thinking about it. I would become a vet and hack animals apart before I'd ever be able to work on people. Yuck.
    Katie - Yay! And thanks! I wubs followers :-)
    Chi-town Southerner - I'm really not sure why I did it because I'm a wimp too. Seriously. I came across a cartoon of an elephant with a dunce hat on once and I started crying. WTF?

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  39. Hey, just stopping by after seeing your name on Sandra's blog. She commented on your drawings so i had to come see :) glad I did! Funny stuff, although probably not funny at the time! Great drawings!

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  40. Deborah - Thanks for stopping by! And yes, it's funny now, and I drew the pictures so they were funny, but at the time it was most definitely not funny. It was hell.

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  41. AAAAAARGH! I was with you, man, especially perched on the toilet seat for 20 miutes. Ai-yi-yi!

    Pearl

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  42. Pearl - I've never seen a room spin that fast. Well, while I was sober I mean.

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  43. OMGGGGGGGG what a fucking NIGHTMARE. who knew vets could be so mean. i mean, i always figured my dog pisses herself for good reason every time we pull into the vet's parking lot, but now i think i might start pissing myself too.

    barf.

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  44. Sounds totally disgusting. I can see why your plans changed.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  45. I was there when they neutered one of my cats. BAD ENOUGH. I can't imagine being there when one was euthanized.

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  46. Crap. I think I'm traumatized just by reading this! I can't even begin to imagine the horror of the real life experience although your graphics certainly added to the imagery my warped mind was already working to accumulate. My personal favorite was the cat getting declawed. Yeah, I'll have a good time trying to rinse that image from my internal vision!

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  47. You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... - I don't really think that most vets are like this. I think the majority of them are good people who are gentle with the animals.
    Joyce - Yep, it was an easy decision for me.
    Jules - I don't think I would want to watch someone operating on my animal. Watching someone's pet get euthanized was not a happy experience.
    The Minute Man's Wife - Lol if it makes you feel any better the cats are knocked out when their claws are removed. I just drew it awake for comedic value :-)

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  48. One of my friend is a vet and OBGYN , once i visited her research center and happened to see her with her one arm totally inside a cow, no offense meant, for around a month I couldnt see anything else

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  49. dude! i've been in vet med for about 10 years (i'm so old). i always try to tell young girls that a) you make no monies, b) you have to be very interested in poop and c) you will get all sorts of bodily fluids on your person. other than that.... it's awesome if you're into that kinda thing. also, i'm sorry you were traumatized. i wish you could've had a better experience at a better hospital.

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  50. meandmythinkingcap - Hahahaha I've seen that too! Not in person, on tv. I can't think of why though... I think maybe the show Dirty Jobs?
    mylittlebecky - Yeah me too but it's probably for the best anyway, I know I wouldn't have been happy as a veterinarian. I don't know what I WILL be happy doing, but something.

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  51. OMG, I'm never sending my pets to the vet's again. From now on, when their "time" comes, I'm taking them to the backyard armed with a garbage bag and a shovel...you poor thing! Have you forgiven your dad yet?

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  52. Sandra - Hahahaha only you Sandra, only you. And I was never mad at him, I'm pretty sure it was the fault of the flaky woman he was friends with that didn't show and didn't tell anyone I was coming. Great way to meet new people!

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  53. I like your blog. I love the art. I think I like you too.

    I love the art.

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  54. Peevie Juice - The blog and I both like you as well. The art loves you. Maybe a little too much. The art is doing indescribable things to itself over here.

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  55. Holy... I just don't even know what to say to that. At first I thought you said you wanted to be a vegetarian, so you can imagine why I was confused and had to go back and reread the beginning. LOL Stupid mind thinking it knows what I'm reading before I actually read it! I cannot imagine how they perform things at a vet's office, but I know I couldn't be around them having to put them to sleep. I refuse to do that at the shelter I volunteer for.

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  56. Krissy - Yeah a bunch of people said they thought I had written Vegetarian. I was going to write Vet but I thought people would confuse that with War Vets for some stupid reason. Perhaps I should change it...

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  57. No, dear. We just need to learn to READ and not skim through words we think we know. We are so lazy anymore!

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  58. Krissy - Yaaaaaaa well I do that sometimes too. We're all guilty of the rush-rush mentality I think.

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  59. Holy crap! Why the hell would they make a child watch all that stuff!? I guess when you torture animals( also a sign you're a sociopath) all day, you are desensitized to the feeling of little pets, I mean children.

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  60. Clarissa - Well I would guess in their defense they didn't know how old I was. I've always looked older than I am too. They may have thought I was much older. I wasn't exactly a child though. Who knows. I probably should have known better.

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  61. Laughing Vault - Sick as in 'awesome' or sick as in 'you're a terrible person'? Cause my boyfriend said he hates this one and it's not funny. You just can't please them all I guess.

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  62. Glad I decided to click on your profile over at R.K.'s blog the other day.

    You are my new idol. :D

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  63. I love your pictures. They make me laugh even when you're telling me about something so horrible. Yikes!

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  64. OMG I don't think I've ever been so spellbound by a post and cartoons before!

    I may even have nightmares.

    I'm so excited!!

    (-:

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  65. G - Yay! Thanks for coming! I'm a little wary of the whole idol thing though, I can't make it rain or anything. Dolla dolla billz ya'll.
    M Pax - Hahaha thank you. I was questioning myself after my boyfriend professed his hated for this post.
    Mrsblogalot - Excellent!! Nightmares are not that sweet, but if you're excited I am too!

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  66. That was the most frightening thing I've ever read. Wise choice not becoming a vet. And don't they have to go to school for like, twenty years?! Who has time for all that?

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  67. Yes, I feel bad for your urine soaked face, but WOW, that's how they declaw cats? Horrible.

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  68. OMG, I could so not work at a vet's. I would cry every time they had to euthanize a pet.

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  69. I seriously can't think right now, I'm still in shock.

    The fact that you didn't run out screaming after the spay, just proves that you're a stronger person than I will ever be...

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  70. Brooke Amanda - Yeah my sister said they have to do a ton of school before they can become vets. I certainly don't want to but I don't know why I say that because by the time I finish this degree (my second) I will have been in school for 10 years. FUUUUUUUUUU
    Copyboy - More or less. Obviously I have exaggerated a bit. The cat was knocked out, but yes, they basically just took a razor blade and cut out their claws.
    On My Soapbox - Yeah, me too. Exactly why I'm not there. I don't want to be desensitized like that. Can you imagine working in a morgue??
    bschooled - Stronger.... or crazier? I would be dolla billz on the later.
    Peevie Juice - You're going to be my semi-heckler aren't you Peevie? The person who likes me but says stuff that could be construed as negative. That's okay, I like that. We'll be friends.

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  71. Yikes! Poor little puppy. Somehow Bob Barker's hallowed message at the end of "The Price is Right" now seems kinda creepy. - G

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  72. Georgina - I know, it kind of does. I totally think it's for the best, but that doesn't make the procedure any easier to watch/know about.

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  73. Holy CrapTaco that's the shits!
    Just checked out your blog via Sandra.

    Love it!

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  74. I read Vegetarian at first and then though you were talking about a Chinese...OK that's bad....but tell me why you didn't want to be a vet?

    I got to see that on people as a Paramedic----(Well--they did it to themselves in Car wrecks and chit).....but I was hooked!!!


    Dr J Kevorkian

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  75. BTW--I never tell you enough how freakin funny, and creative you are! So---YOU ARE! And I really appreciate you and your Blog!

    Don't expect any more niceness for a while--- I gotta go Spay something!

    J

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  76. My totally hilarious comment disappeared--I thought you said Vegetarian too- and then were talking about a Chinese Restaurant!

    That was the gist of it--You are HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  77. John - All three of them made it! And I can't IMAGINE being a paramedic. I would never be able to sleep for all the nightmares I'd have. And THANKS!! That's super sweet, and I really appreciate it. I've been feeling less than creative recently so it's nice to hear ;-)

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  78. omg i almost threw up :/ it really is really bad day :/ your dream job crushed xD

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  79. Laughing Vault - Hahaha my apologies, but I'm glad that I'm good enough at story telling to make someone ALMOST throw up. Lol. It wasn't really my dream job once I realized what the reality of it was. Now I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life! Weeeeee!

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  80. It's not fair. You got my agenda now. You were supposed to be in the dark.

    OK, friends.

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  81. Hahaha... those are the most awesome pictures ever. I love devil vet. Hey, at least you got a dose of reality early on, right?!

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  82. Peevie Juice - And all it took was three beers and an inability to sleep on a work night!
    Dr. Cynicism - Thanks!! :-D And yea, I suppose, I mean every child's dreams should be brutally crushed and splashed with bloody cat pee in my opinion.

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  83. I"m going to hell because my cat, Fluffy Sparkles has been spayed and frontally declawed.

    I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell.

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  84. PS. I'm about to brag... I can't stop... my Neily animated on the ninja turtles show. *phew* Got that out.

    It was one of his first jobs.

    *swoon.

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  85. Chelle - Our cats (my mom's cats) were both neutered and declawed too. Don't feel so bad.
    And Neily was an animator for the ninja turtles show? I think that might be the coolest thing I've ever heard. If I animated for that show I would TOTALLY use that as a pick up line!

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  86. You missed your calling with drawing ninja turtles. You could've hung out behind local elementary schools, selling ninja turtle drawings. It would be like dealing drugs, except instead of ruining lives you'd be enriching the buyers' existence. Seriously, you'd be at least a thousandaire by now.

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  87. Angela - Hahaha! Oh man. The only problem with that is if I was REALLY good (and of course I would be) the creators would probably come after me for copyright infringement. Damn. I missed thousandies.

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  88. What in the world???

    I canNOT believe that story

    Yeah. So not your calling.

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  89. The Empress - Yeah, no. I'm not into purposely causing pain in any creature. Even if it's for the better.

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  90. BTW - I have something for you in my most recent post!

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  91. The Minute Man's Wife - Thanks again miss! :-D

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  92. holy hell, that was funny. the accompanying pictures are fanfuckingtastic. wow.

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  93. Ian - Lol thanks! :-) Seemed to freak quite a few people out.

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  94. "shlepped off on a bunch of busy, irritated, not-so-friendly vets"

    i think you mean "pawned off". great story though, very well-told!

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  95. -E- - Schlepped, pawned, I think the general meaning got across. It was not good, whatever the verb.

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  96. Laughing Vault - Hopefully :-/ I'm so fucking swamped and my happy pills are failing me. It's making it rather difficult to pump out anything that isn't shit.

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  97. That sucks when a dream dies. Are you sure it was a real vet clinic?

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  98. Trooper Thorn - It totally does, but it was probably for the best. I'm glad I figured it out then instead of going through school and wasting money on something I couldn't handle. It was a real vet clinic, just not a very nice one. Or they were having a bad day. I don't know.

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  99. What? When I had my cat declawed, the vet said all they do is show the cat pictures of happy places and ask her to "put her claws away for good" and then give her some kitty treats!

    This is horseshit.

    I want my $5 back.

    Come to think of it, I'm not so sure that guy was even a vet. I mean, he had the wheelchair and the American flag, but you could get those anywhere, right?

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  100. Caleb - I'm thinking you MIGHT have gotten cheated a little bit. But you know what, if your cat has never used her claws since then I'd say you had a total WIN.

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  101. Seriously, somebody should beat the shit out of those idiots for showing you those things!
    I'm sorry you saw all of that. Okay, now that I have serious and feeling side of me out of the way, the drawings are frigging awesome! The looks on their faces (and yours) are priceless...

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  102. Pat - Well they probably figured I was askin for it right? And it makes for a funny story later. Well kinda funny, a lot of people did not think it was funny.

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  103. Oh holy Christ I don't even

    whaaaaat

    (traumatized)

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  104. greengeekgirl - Hahahaha oh noes!!

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Talk to the Cake Betch - I'll always respond. Unless you're a dick, then I'll just be mad.