So every once in a while the fact that I'm totally out of ideas for stupid pictures and stories creeps up to bite me in the ass along with the fact that I want to write about stuff that doesn't necessarily include stupid pictures and stories. Every time I post one of these I'm always like, "OH NOES if I don't post pictures I'm going to lose followers!"
So here's a stupid picture to start:
Okay, now that I've got your attention and love back, I have a few things to say:
1.) HAVE YOU SEEN MY NEW BLOG HEADER? My BNF (Best Neighbor Forever) from another state, Goofy Girl from There Is Grandeur in This View of Life, made it for me. I was all, "I fucking suck and have no ideas even though I'm supposed to do this for a living." And BAM, she sends me a new header. <3
2.) I have a guest post over here at I AM BMAC. Bryant says I'm a fruit fly! Woot! He also lies and says my blog is "wildly popular"(<~~ hahahaha) so that's fun. Also there is a picture of me (a REAL picture) over there so if you want to see a picture that I didn't take in a bathroom mirror, there you go. Now go read Bryant's blog!
3.) I got ANOTHER blog award. I know, right, what the fuck is wrong with people?? I received the Versatile Blogger Award from Peevie Juice. Peevie Juice is such a weird name, right? Sounds kind of perverted. But it's actually not, he says it's a Scottish term for "drunk", so his name is Drunk on Juice. My kind of guy. Plus he's weird. So we are instant friends. Since I've gotten this before and I'm afraid to scare ya'll off with more text and no pictures I'm just going to pimp him out and thank him (THANKS PEEVIE JUICE) and not repost it.
EDIT: So I'm a huge asshole and forgot that Ashley at Perpetually Me gave me this award back on May 15th. I'm going to blame the drugs I'm on (prescribed of course). But it's still no excuse for forgetting because Ashley is an awesome blogger and super sweet. Sorry Ashley, please forgive me!
WAIT DON'T LEAVE, I have another picture!!
4.) Keith has a blog too (The Keith Miles) and draws super cute pictures too. He told me on Saturday that he was waiting for me to comment on his pictures and I didn't and he was sad and it broke my heart. So I drew myself as a dinosaur for Keith. Go visit Keith and love him! Seriously, or I'll cutcha.
That's all for now. I swear to fuck I'm drawing a guest post that I got like four years ago and I'll hopefully have it done by Friday. Until then, find me on Twitter, cause I can do that from my phone (read: it's easy so I do it more often).
I like the new header and congrats on the award.
ReplyDeleteOilfield - How the hell are you always like first to comment on my blog? I follow a lot of the same people you follow and you're always right up there at the top. You're freakin' me out man. I mean, I love you, but you're too fast.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to say that I got super excited to laugh my ass off as I noticed you had a new post, and suddenly got a very sad feeling when I realized I'd gotten to the end without so much as a smile. Spice up my life Betch!
ReplyDeleteOh but I did like the new Header A LOT!
ReplyDeleteAnon - Aww Anon I'm sorry. The asshat didn't even make you smile a little bit? Not even maybe an internal smile? Me as a dinosaur? No?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Anon, I'm working on a guest post and then I'll get back to my regularly scheduled shit-show. You still love me right? DON'T LEAVE ME!
Loving the new header. I hope that picture comes back to haunt all those guys five years in their future when they're trying to pass themselves as "responsible" adults.
ReplyDeleteOh. Congrats as well.
Wait... they give out blog awards???
ReplyDeleteVinny - Thanks! I think it's super cute. And that picture has been floating around the internet for YEARS. I specifically searched for it when I decided to draw myself wearing an ass for a hat.
ReplyDeleteOnion Girl - Yes, they. Various and sundry people. I'm not sure where they came from or where they're going, but they arrive every so often.
I'm looking forward to the nightmares this post is going to generate tonight!
ReplyDeleteThe Minute Man's Wife - What, the asshat? I thought it was funny. Apparently not many other people did. Can't hit 'em out of the park all the time.
ReplyDeleteYou know, it kind of looks like a giant taco you're wearing.
ReplyDeleteAw crap, now I'm hungry for Mexican...
bluzdude - Hahahaha, a pink taco. Oooh I'm so BAD. Joking. No, it's an ass! Asshat. Not Mexican. I'm hungry for Mexican now too. I love me some Quesa-dillas.
ReplyDeleteNewwww header. I like new. I like header.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with people? You tell me. I got the award and I was like okay... yay me.
I am perverted. A little very much actually.
Instant friends. You make it sound like coffee. Which just makes it better,
You pimped me out. So sweet. And welcome Cake Betch.
Your name is like a unicorn's gay dream.
Peevie Juice - Thanks, me too.
ReplyDeleteIt was a joke - like, "Wtf is wrong with people that they're giving me awards?"
It happens.
Ohh, coffee is delicious! Not instant coffee. Instant lattes and cappuccino aren't terrible though.
You're welcome!
THAT'S AWESOME. Wait, Cake Betch or Tara? Cause they're both me.
Yo! Have you read the recent comments in my cyber house? Are you aware of just how fantabulous you are??? Can't wait to see the guest postie, I'm giddy with excitement! ツ
ReplyDeleteツ my cyber house rules dot com
Nikki - Awww that's awesome. I hadn't read them but I just did. Makes my black little heart swell with love. I'm working on it now, trying to come up with a really crotchety face for this old lady.
ReplyDeleteWell you certainly kept me interested with the pictures. That last one especially kept my attention. I even read the words in between. That header is pretty sweet.
ReplyDeleteTS Hendrik - Thanks TS! You are one of the few, the proud, the bored.
ReplyDelete@Cake Betch - I know na. I knew it was a joke. Thing is after a while I'm like okay did I actually get so excited cos of this award. But then again it's just really sweet on the giver's part.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is never bad okay. Like never ever never. Coffee is God's jizz. So perfect. Every brew.
Tara. Wow. I didn't know Tara. Tara sounds more human. Cake Betch is the unicorn thing.
I love the new header, but I never saw the old one so take it for what it's worth. My header does still fucking suck because I don't do it for a living and have no idea how, so yet, I love your new header.
ReplyDeleteThose asshats look like porcupines that fell into a vat of sunless tanning cream. I would rather be the animated figure.
Peevie Juice - It is sweet, and I do really appreciate it a lot. I'm also a bit of an asshole and didn't pass it on.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha. It tastes like God jizzed in my mouth! That's what I'm going to yell next time I'm at the coffee shop. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.
And forget my name, I don't want to be hu-man! UNICORN GAY DREAMS FTW
Great post Cake. Love the new look. And big congrats on your award. Always a good thing.
ReplyDeleteAbby - You snuck in there while I was replying to Peevie. The old header was just the default one, there was nothing special about it at all... I'm lazy and haven't really bothered to customize my blog like I should. And don't they?? Haha. I lol'ed so hard when I saw that the first time.
ReplyDeleteBarb - Aug you snuck in too! Thanks and thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteAw Tara, love the new header- love any and everything on your blog - ESPECIALLY the Asshat. I may have to go and buy some fabric and make one to wear out to go a meetin! You always crack me up!
ReplyDeletelaughingmom - HAHAHA OMG if you make yourself an asshat PLEASE send me pictures! That would make my whole year. <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part is your comment back to OILfield Trash. That was fucking classic! It makes you wonder if people like that sit and masturbate to your picture while reading your blog.Really makes ya wonder.
ReplyDeletepicklesinmyass.blogspot.com
Mrs. Pickle - Hahahaha OH GOD NO. No I don't think Oilfield is doing that. I don't think he'd have time to do it even if he wanted to. He's just always so fucking speedy about commenting, it makes me feel like a shit when I don't get through blogs after a month.
ReplyDeleteLike the award love the header. Meh about the Jersey Shore wannabes.
ReplyDeleteCopyboy - I feel the same my friend. I feel the same.
ReplyDeletenice header :)
ReplyDeletei loled at http://guanabee.com/2008/08/angel-pantoja-medina-stood-upright-at-his-wake-what-did-you-do-today-lazy-ass/
thanks :D
♥ !!!
ReplyDeleteI love that you dig the new header.
(& thanks for the (unnecessary, but much appreciated) public shout out. You're too kind ♥
That first picture makes me hungry for tacos and makes me remember I need to buy a hat.
ReplyDeleteWeird is good! Love the dino.
ReplyDeletePFT, you are plenty funny WITHOUT the pictures. :D
ReplyDeleteOf course, I love you more. With the pictures.
Like the header. Shouldn't that be Juice Peevie? Seeing as he gets drunk on Juice? Erm. Lol.
ReplyDeleteOh Cake Betch, this post isn't Tara-ble to me. In fact I think it's Tarrific! I am a bit Tara-fied at the idea of a bunch of peoplereading my blog and looking at my Tara-ble pictures but bring 'em on!
ReplyDeleteAnd the Tarasaurus is incredible. Seriously - it should have it's own cartoon where it roams around town doing normal stuff but it's tara-ble at everything because she's a giant dinosaur and lacks hands and thumbs.
Tagline - "I'm just Tara-ble!"
Wait -- what?! Pictures get more traffic? Well there's my problem...
ReplyDeleteAnd what's up with orange people? I don't get it... This next generation is pretty silly. :-)
Pearl
p.s. Oh, and Blogger is apparently trying to kill me, so sorry I haven't been around to comment. Finally figured out this weird work-around, but I don't know what their deal is...
congrats on your award! great header
ReplyDeleteHot mess...muy fab. My first time here and you have me all grins.
ReplyDeletePS: I'm alot of things, but i promise you i'm no dick :-)
I'm guessing that that isn't a pic from the Wolverine family reunion of 2011? Or is it fashionable now to ram one's head up a porcupine's ass while rubbing yourself down with day-glo lotion? I think I'm out of touch...
ReplyDeleteYou can't see it in the picture (cuz you totes covered it with a drawring) but I was actually out with those guys in that picture. They're not so bad once you get to know them! Well, okay, they are, but still. No need to make fun of them and their hair. You don't know- maybe they just all fell off a really tall building.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you're all like "a picture of me" and I'm all like "Ooo-wonder if she's hot!" and then I check it out and I'm like "yeah, nice!" and then I'm like "I should tell her" but then I'm like "hopefully she doesn't tell her boyfriend" and so don't tell your boyfriend.
I'm self-nominating for sentence-of-the-year award.
Also, very nice dinosaur. Very nice.
Caleb
Laughing Vault - Sooooo crazy, right? I would be freaked out to walk into the house and see him just standing there looking all waxy and dead.
ReplyDeleteGoofy Girl - No thank YOU. It's super cute and I love it. Plus I take any and all opportunities to pimp you out. Not the real kind, just the "Look at my friend!" kind.
Tonya - You know, if Chi Chi's was still around you could kill two birds with one stone. As long as you went in and told them that it was your birthday, cause they'd put a giant hat on your head. You’d have to run out with it quickly but I trust you could do that. Bam. Mexican food AND a hat.
Riot Kitty - There is no other way to be. At least not for me. I giggled at the mouth on the dinosaur for a while.
Lemons Don’t Make Lemonade - You’re my darling. Who needs those anonymous mean people who don’t love me when I’m not funny?
theShyNarcissit - No I think it’s Drunk on Juice (well he wrote “drunk on life” on his blog but that’s not much fun). At least it’s not sizzerp.
thekeithmiles - Well APPARENTLY Keith, we are in the minority on enjoying the Tarasaurus. Whatevs, we know we’re funny. I’ll start my own separate blog of Tarasaurus and I’ll make it private so only you and I can see it. Lol
Pearl - Yeah, I’m sure you get only a little traffic. Right. And I have no idea about the orange people. Personally I’d rather be pale as shit than orange. It looks NASTY. Over-tanning looks BAD. And don’t feel bad, Blogger has been effing with me all week; I had to wait over the weekend before I could leave comments.
babygirl32 - Why thank you and thank you again!
Nyambura - Of course you’re not a dick, you’re very sweet. So far I haven’t encountered anyone being too douchy but I’m going to give it time. Eventually someone has to come along and talk shit to me. But I’m glad you’re here and you grinned :-)
A Beer for the Shower - I have NO idea. It’s so bad isn’t it? And I don’t think that we’re the ones out of touch. Seriously, not us. I will probably never say that again, but in this instance it applies.
Caleb - I don’t believe for one second that you’re one of those guys. And unfortunately I don’t think they’ve fallen off a building because they’d be dead. Maybe hung their heads out of the car window as they drove? Or out of a train? Something moving fast. And SPPAAAAANKS! :-) I totes won’t tell my boyfriend, but he does read my blog. He already read it though so he probably won’t read the comments. I think you’re in the clear. Anyway, even if he does, what’s he going to say? “No, don’t you think my girlfriend is hot!”
Hey Tara...
ReplyDeleteGood stuff once again. I told you before you are much better than I, but I am trying to be more creative.
What episode of Jersey Shore did you get that photo from? You know I just realized with my current spike I am a few stray hairs from looking like one of those guid...er, Italian Americans. Great Show!(Rolling my eyes)
Asshat, that is funny. Just reminded me of the Assman episode of Seinfeld, lol.
Photo of you is cool, I don't care what the others say. You're hot. That'll probably get me in trouble with Justin but oh well. Its not as if I was going to post ur pic on my blog, which would be weird, not because you're not worthy, but only because not to many people would understand why I have you posted alongside Danica Patrick(who is the subject of my most recent blog).
Tarasaurus, that is awesome! Reminds me of when I interned for Senator Mike DeWine, we had a receptionist we nicknamed Hurricane Sarah. Not sure why that reminded me.
If I was inappropriate, well, good. I think I am too pc in my own blog which is why I have only three followers and two comments.
The three of us need to get together sometime to brainstorm writing ideas and drink beer, but mainly drink beer.
I didn't know one of the Oompa Loompas was an asshat! Wait until Willy finds out.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Love your new header.
Love the new header. Love anything with fluffy ducklings OMGSOCUTE.
ReplyDeleteJarrod - Thanks Jarrod! And I have no idea where that photo originally came from, but I know it's been around for a while because I photoshopped my cousin's head into it once.
ReplyDeleteAnd what do you mean you don't care what others say?? LOL? Are people going around saying that I'm not hot? I mean, not that I expect people to think I'm hot, I'm flattered, but I would be weirded out if people were like, "Oh that Tara, she is NOT hot." hahaha.
And I'm pretty much always down for drinking beer :-)
On My Soapbox - Isn't that guy dead? Or really old? Oompa Loompas scare me, srsly. I was so scared of them when I was little. And thanks!
Mizanon - Hahaha the duckies were there before, they're just some background from layout designer that I was like, "YEP! Perfect." and slapped up there. The actually header and title is new though. Some day I'll get around to replacing the background.
You are 1000 million percent awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd so versatile!
bschooled - I love you so much. My black heart squeezes whenever I see you left me a comment. And no I'm not fucking versatile, if I'm not doing pictures and telling stories everyone is bored, but thanks anyway :-D
ReplyDeleteI like the new header, but being my first time didn't notice it right away. I apologize. Love the first picture, though. Feels like you're right at the Jersey Shore! This made me laugh a lot, and I'll check out the other posts at said suggested blogs.
ReplyDeleteSara
Sara - Yeah if you've never been to my blog before you probably wouldn't know I have a new header :-) Glad to have you here though!
ReplyDeleteLiking the new header. In fact, when I came over to visit your blog I noticed it. Then I thought to myself, "Is this header new or have I just been really non-observational lately?" Thankfully, it was the former.
ReplyDeleteShanimalsCrackers - Lol I really can't complain because I use reader so I only see people's actual layouts when I go to their blog to comment. Kind of another reason I've been so lazy about really trying to make the page look nice. Well, that and I'm lazy.
ReplyDeleteHUFF. PUFF. I GAVE YOU THAT AWARD MAY 14!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYOU EVEN COMMENTED MAY 15!!
http://perpetuallyashley.blogspot.com/2011/05/apples-and-oranges.html
Okay, I promised I wouldn't lose my cool. By the way, that other post (I read backwards because it showed the most recent post first) was really awesome. I guess I should have posted on that one first, lol. I've gotten behind and I'm just catching up. Forgive me? xoxo
♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - OH NOES!! I'm so sorry :-( I'm not surprised though because I have been EXTREMELY forgetful. Probably a side effect of the meds :-( I'll edit it to include your award.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok. Already forgiven. I kinda know what you mean, so I'm giving you credit. Plus, your edit made me laugh a little and go "awwh" at the same time. You rock. (I would have said something sooner but I've been a neglectful blogger friend in not getting to read blogs until the weekends :( sorry)
ReplyDeletegreat post, congrats on the awards and I love your new header...
ReplyDelete♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ - I'm not sure how I missed this, I think I thought it was on Twitter? Obviously I'm not the brightest crayon in the box anymore. But I'm glad you're not mad :-)
ReplyDeletePat - Thanks and thanks! I thought it was super cute :-)
I LOVE THE TARASAURUS DAMMIT. It's Taraffic. Not to be confused with tar-i-ffic, which would be like taxes, or something.
ReplyDeletegreengeekgirl - I liked the Tarasaurus too. Apparently not that many other people did!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete